


A Tall Order

by SterekShipper



Category: teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Human Highschool AU, Josh’s POV for most of Chapter 14, Liam’s POV for half of Chapter 3, M/M, Part Angst/Comfort - Part Fluff, Scared Theo, Theo’s POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:39:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23493955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SterekShipper/pseuds/SterekShipper
Summary: Theo Raeken.He was popular. A jock. Flirty.The truth though, was it was all an act. Theo couldn’t stand the spotlight. He was also scared. A secret he kept from everyone, even his friends.Now in their senior year, a new boy caught his eye.One, Liam Dunbar.Things were about to change.The only question was: how?
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 50
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

Theo Raeken had always been a man capable of anything. Never one to shy away from a challenge. He was a man of many talents. The epitome of charm. A man thought capable of achieving the impossible. Once he’d set his mind on something, nothing stood in his way.

For that reason alone, he was unstoppable; drawing the attention of everyone around, the moment he entered the room. Girls flocked to him, practically hanging off his every move.

He was a man of the people.

One who was deathly afraid of heights.

Not that he’d ever tell another soul.

It was his closest kept secret. His only secret. In the time he’d attended Beacon Hills High, he’d managed to keep anyone from finding out. He’d done so without any hint of suspicion. Now, in his senior year, he only had to make it to graduation and he was home free.

That was the plan at least.

Until Liam showed up.

****

On the first day of the new year, leaning back in his seat, arms tucked behind his head, he watched as a boy he’d never seen before entered the room. He watched as the boy took the seat next to his, eyes glued to the history book. He couldn’t take his eyes off him, focused on the thin line of his lower lip caught ever so softly between his teeth as he read.

“What?”

He looked up, startled at the sudden question. He’d been staring. Not only that but he’d been caught. “Sorry, I’m Theo. I couldn’t help but notice you reading. You must really like history.” He smiled, a dazzling sight which had the girls swooning.

The boy however, didn’t seem impressed.

“Sure, make fun of the new kid.”

“Excuse me?”

“If you must know, I do like history. Not that it’s any of your business.”

He raised an eyebrow, unable to hide the smirk he felt take shape. “Who said I was making fun of you? Maybe I was just being friendly.” All he got in response was a sharp huff. “At least tell me your name. After all, you know mine.”

“Liam.”

“Well, Liam-”

“Theo.” He glanced over his shoulder, catching their teacher’s. “If you’d be so kind, I’d like to begin the class.”

“By all means, Ms. Martin.” Resting back in his seat once again, he shot a sideways smile to Liam. Liam however, just rolled his eyes and returned to his book.

He’d never had trouble focusing before, his grades a testament to the effort he put in. History wasn’t his strong suit, taking up the majority of his time and still leaving a lot to be desired.

Then there was now.

For the life of him, he couldn’t keep track of a word Ms. Martin said. He barely registered that she was even talking or the fact they were in the middle of class. There was another thought currently occupying his mind, demanding his sole attention.

Liam.

His gaze lingered on the boy, who seemed entirely immersed in the lesson; the corners of his mouth quirked, a wide smile growing with every passing second. It was quite the sight to behold and he was but a helpless prisoner to its power.

He watched as Liam raised a hand, actively explaining the conditions prisoners of war faced, followed by the state of the internment camps they were held in. Liam spoke with an air of confidence and intrigue which held his stare, unable to look away, let alone to stop listening.

Just as he thought he might stand a chance of surviving this year, he spotted the timetable resting on the edge of Liam’s desk. The classes were laid out on full display; the majority of which he shared. The year was going to prove to be far from what he’d expected.

The only question was: would it be better or worse?


	2. Chapter 2

“There’s just something about him.”

The lunch room was full of students, a cacophony of excited chatter enveloping the space.

“No wonder you’re so interested.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Theo, you’re obsessed.” Corey laughed at his affronted look. “You haven’t stopped talking about him since this morning.”

“He’s different okay? Liam doesn’t care how popular I am and he doesn’t freak out every time he sees me, like the girls do. It’s a nice change.”

“Maybe you should ask him out then.”

“What? I don’t-”

“Theo.”

“Corey.”

Corey raised an eyebrow in question. “Don’t even try to deny it. You only act like this when you like someone. Remember Tracy?”

“What’s your point?”

“You were all over her. What’s more is you’re even worse when it comes to Liam. You track his every move.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not that bad.”

“Theo.”

“What?”

“I haven’t even met him yet and I feel like I know a week’s worth of information.”

He sighed. “Fine, so maybe I like him. Can you blame me? It’s so tiring having everyone falling over themselves to be near me. They like that I play lacrosse and how I look. That’s it. Liam’s different. He doesn’t care about any of that.”

“I really think you should-”

“Hey guys.” Mason called, interrupting. “This is Liam.”

Corey glanced at Theo before smiling. “So, you’re the mysterious Liam.” He laughed at the questioning looks that arose. “I’ve heard all about you from Theo.”

“Well, how could I not tell everyone about the new history fan in my class?”

Liam rolled his eyes. The look he gave him could only be described as indignation. “You’re still on that?”

“Of course. It made my day.”

“You’re the type of guy who thinks he’s better than everyone else, aren’t you?”

“Not at all.” He assured, an innocent smile in place. “I just know how to entertain.”

“I’ll see you later, Mason.” Liam stood up to leave. He couldn’t resist continuing the banter a little long. “Don’t miss me too much.”

He didn’t get a response.

Silence fell over them, a moment of quiet as they ate, his eyes never leaving Liam’s retreating form until it was out of sight. He looked back to find two sets of eyes on him. “What?”

“You like Liam.” Mason phrased it as a fact.

Before he could so much as open his mouth, Corey decided to answer for him. “He does.”

“Big deal.”

“You’re already defensive. You’re wrapped around his finger.” Mason laughed.

“I am not.”

“Come on, Theo. Admit it. You’d do anything he asked without hesitation.” Corey chimed in, ever so helpfully.

“You know what? I’m out. I’ll see you at practice.” He could practically hear the smugness in Corey’s next words, practically feel the smirk directed at his back: “You didn’t deny it!”


	3. Chapter 3

“You call that a pass?! A child could do better than that!” A sharp whistle followed. “Greenberg take another lap!”

Training was always intense; how could it notbe when you had Coach? Today’s session however, had been harsher than usual. Coach was pushing them harder, expecting more of them. It was nothing new, nothing he couldn’t handle. It happened at the start of each year, when new players joined the team. Coach used the first week as a sign he didn’t tolerate any slack. There was no exception. If you wanted to be on the team, then you had to give it your all.

“Now that’s how you play! Good tackle Raeken.”

It went without saying he’d always had a love for the game. A sense of freedom pulsed through him, an electrifying energy urging him on.

He felt at home on the field, each step a welcome relief.

It didn’t hurt that this year, a certain team member who’d caught his eye, made the game all that more interesting.

His favourite part was when drills ended and the team split into two, facing off in a practice match. He and Liam were on the same side, a united force, unstoppable in their partnership. It was as if they’d spent years forming the connection between them. There was a distinct synchronicity to their plays which left their teammates with no chance.

“Dunbar! Raeken! Keep it up! Maybe you can show the rest of the team how it’s done.”

The rest of practice was spent running laps - Coach’s favourite method of using every inch of energy they had and draining them dry until the very last second. He, on the other hand, found it exhilarating and freeing. Something about the perceived regularity to the task, the hold it had on his body, the power he felt coursing through his veins. It left him energised.

“All right, wrap it up and go shower. We have an extra practice next week. Tuesday after school. Don’t be late.”

****

The loud chatter echoed through the narrow locker rooms; a steamy mist filled the air, the smell of body odour mixing with that of their soap.

“All hail the king!” Theo called, the last to emerge from the field. Cheers erupted, pats circulating as Theo weaved through the throng of sweaty players. He released an unrestrained huff, meeting the bright green eyes gazing back in a mirror of amusement.

“Give it a rest.”

“Why? Are you jealous?”

“In your dreams.”

“Sorry to disappoint you but I don’t play like that. I need to be shown a good time before someone makes it that far.” Laughter broke out around them; the team were enjoying the show. They’d probably never seen someone challenge Theo before.

“Good luck getting that far.”

“Don’t be like that. I’ll make it worth your while.”

He shook his head, releasing a frustrated breath. “You’re not as revered as you think. Good luck when you graduate because you’re in for a surprise when you meet the real world. The one where people don’t hang off your every word because you’re a high school sports star.”

“It’s not my fault I was born with this much talent. It’s a gift.” The cheering continued.

“Full of yourself, much?”

“It’s not cocky, if it’s true.” Theo smirked.

“All you care about is how people see you. The popularity.” Theo’s smirk dropped, the hint of what looked to be doubt, taking its place.

“I wouldn’t say-”

“You’re whole life centres on it. I’m not sure you could make it through the day without a swarm of students watching your every move.” Silence drew across the room in a tense cloud, it’s grasp tight. It was broken by a nervous chuckle, a sharp stutter piercing the silence. “Well, in that case, I suppose we should call off that date. If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll ask one of the girls you so _kindly_ pointed out, can’t resist throwing themselves at me.”

With that, Theo left. Not another word. His stride unbroken. The team remained still, taken aback by the upheaval of what should have been a friendly joke. They looked on, his retreating back the sole focus, wrapped in the shroud of unease. Almost robotically, they made their way back to the showers. In quick succession, each one dispersed, leaving the chill behind.

Before long, he was packing his bag, preparing to make his way out as well.

“You’re wrong.” Having thought he was alone, he turned to see Corey standing by the lockers. “About Theo.”

“You’re friends. Of course you’d stand up for him. That doesn’t change the facts.”

“I’ve known Theo for years, since we were children. There’s more to him than what you’ve seen.”

“I know enough.”

“Actually, you don’t. You really hurt him when you accused him of wanting to be popular.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“Theo’s not as confident as he appears. Don’t get me wrong, he’s sure of himself around friends. It’s just he isn’t one for the spotlight.”

“You could’ve fooled me. He practically lives in the spotlight. The whole school apparently revolves around him.”

“That’s the problem. Theo thinks he has to be this ‘cool’ guy. The flirty jock. For as long as I’ve known him, he’s felt it’s expected of him. That it’s who he’s supposed to be. In a way, it is. People don’t see Theo for himself. They see the lacrosse star, the persona he puts on. Truth is, he hates the attention. That’s the only reason I didn’t say something before. Unlike you, I know he wouldn’t appreciate me telling you this in front of everybody. The same way you called him out in front of the entire team.”

“If he’s so put out by it, why doesn’t he stop playing?”

“Theo could never give up lacrosse. It’s not an option.”

“I get he likes it but you make it sound like it’s just causing problems.”

“It’s more than a game to Theo. He grew up watching matches, following every play. He’d go home and copy what he’d seen, staying up as late as his parents would let him. When we started school, he tried out and made the team easily. After that, with everything going on with the unwanted attention and class, the field became a second home for him. It’s where he goes to relax, it’s where he can be himself.”

He remained speechless for a moment, staring at Corey in silence. What was he supposed to say to that? “I didn’t realise it meant so much to him.”

“There’s a lot more to Theo than he lets on.A side most people don’t get to see. Trust me. Give him another chance. You just need to get to know the real Theo.” With that, Corey left and he couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said.

Maybe Corey was right. He may have judged Theo too soon.


	4. Chapter 4

History. He just had to have history last period. It was the only class which left him this stressed, this lost. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how often he studied, he couldn’t seem to understand it. The day before had been tolerable. Enjoyable even. It came down to the fact he now shared the class with Liam. He’d actually been looking forward to today’s class. He could listen to Liam talk about any topic for hours on end. There was a certain excitement, a passion which drew him in. He was hooked.

That was, until lacrosse. Now, he was dreading it more than ever. Since their clash the day before, he’d avoided Liam at all costs; he hadn’t even seen Liam before class. He couldn’t bring himself to see him, to see that look of disdain. It almost felt as though he was on his way to a jail cell, rather than a regular classroom; what with the knowledge he’d have to sit next to Liam. He’d spent the class staring forcefully at his desk, his book open but remaining unread. Anything to prevent looking across at Liam. It didn’t help, he could feel Liam watching him. He practically fled the room, the second the bell rung.

Liam was the first person since Corey and Mason, who didn’t care about who he was. Tracy had accepted the fact he didn’t like being the centre of attention at the start but it quickly changed, when she realised he never wanted to attend school parties and large gatherings. It’s not that she wanted to date ‘the popular guy’; she just grew tired of going out alone. Liam didn’t care that he was on a sports team or that he was well liked. It was also clear, Liam had no interest in any of those parties either.

It was nice. He missed being treated like everyone else. He’d thought this was his chance to at least make a new friend, if not a chance at something more.

Instead, Liam hated him.

Liam hated the very thing he couldn’t stand himself. His popularity. The problem was, Liam thought he not only liked the attention but that he craved it. Not that he could blame Liam. After all, the entire time they’d known each other, Liam had only ever seen him pandering to the crowd. It wasn’t like he could tell him the truth though. Who knew what Liam would say? Who knew if he’d even believe him?

All he had to do was find his truck and go home. He could stay in his room, revelling in the peace and quiet. No hiding. No need to pretend. Just him. He was already halfway there, crossing the car park as though it would burn him if he stopped; a sense of relief washing over him, as he caught sight of his truck. He was on the home stretch.

_The home stretch._

Truth was, that was always the hardest part of anything. Especially of one’s escape.

Sure enough, within steps of the drivers’ door, he spotted Jackson and Matt harassing Josh. They had Josh cornered; pressed against the side of the bleachers. Those two were a menace. They were like a dog with a bone. Once you were on their radar, they wouldn’t let go.

Enough was enough.

Someone had to put a stop to this.

Someone had to show them they couldn’t get away with treating people like shit.

He felt anger flare inside him, as Matt pushed Josh back against the metal boards of the bleachers. The look on Josh’s face as Jackson laughed, the distress, the unspoken desire to fade into the shadows, had him clenching his fists. He knew exactly how that felt. How it felt to want to disappear.

“Get your hands off him.”

Jackson smirked as he turned around, amused. “Well, if it isn’t wonder boy himself. Come for the show?”

“Leave him alone.”

“Why would I do that when we’re having fun? Isn’t that right?” Jackson levelled his gaze on Josh, who shrunk under it. When he spoke it was barely a whisper, an almost inaudible yes brushing Josh’s lips. “See?”

Sometimes he really felt like punching the guy. How could someone be so smug?

“You really think I’d ever believe the word of someone like you, Jackson? There is no way, Joshis here by choice. Anyone can see that.”

Josh looked up, surprise etched into his features. “You know my name?”

“Sure. You sit next to me in English.” A small smile formed, only to disappear as Josh shrunk back under Jackson’s glare. “You think you’re so good. You think you’re better than everyone else. Well, newsflash. You’re not.” There it was. That flash of anger in Jackson’s eyes. He’d hit home. It was a well known fact, Jackson wanted to be the best. He understood the sentiment and in another world, he might even feel sorry for Jackson. Were it not for the fact, he took out his disappointment and problems on everyone around him. “Walk away or you’ll have me to deal with.”

Matt leant back, silently observing. He looked warily between them. Matt could be a pain however, though he’d never admit it, he wasmore a sidekick than an instigator. It was Jackson you really had to watch out for.

“What are you going to do? We’re not on the lacrosse field, Raeken. You can’t fluke you’re way out of this.”

“I didn’t _fluke_ anything.” It would be a cold day in hell, before he let anyone say he didn’t deserve his spot on the team. “I’ll beat you any day of the week. Don’t push me Jackson. We might not be on the field right now but that won’t stop me from kicking your ass.” 

“You couldn’t beat a middle schooler. Everyone knows you lucked out on getting team Captain.”

The sound of grinding filled his ears, his teeth threatening to break from the strain. His palms stung from how hard his nails were pressing into the skin; a wet trickle forming in the centre, at the heart of his nails. Before he could bite back, a calm voice sounded from behind. 

“Sounds to me like your jealous.”

That voice alone had his heartbeat racing.

Liam.

He couldn’t seem to get away from the guy. 

“Stay out of this, Dunbar. This is between me and Raeken.”

“You know Jackson. It’s sad you’re still hung up on the fact you lost. After all, I’ve only been here for a couple of days and even _I_ can see Theo’s better.”

Jackson wasn’t pleasant on a good day, so you can only imagine what happened when he was pissed. The next words cut deep, his body tense. Jackson had hit the root of his own doubts and it hurt. “I didn’t think you’d stand up for Raeken, after what you said at lacrosse yesterday.” He wanted to run; to be anywhere else, where Liam wasn’t looking at him with a look too close to that of pity, for his liking. To make it worse, Jackson was sporting a smug grin directed his way.

“That’s old news and it had _nothing_ to do with lacrosse or Theo’s ability.” There was a tightness to Liam’s voice now, a tightness he couldn’t ignore. Liam seemed to want to avoid this subject as much as he did. “You really can’t let go, can you? Everything you’ve said is fixated on the past. Are you so insecure, you have to harass other people to feel accomplished?”

He snorted before he could think about it but the look on Jackson’s face was worth it. He was almost waiting for Jackson to turn red with anger. “Just you wait, Raeken. This isn’t over. That includes you, Dunbar.” With that, Jackson left. Matt scurried after him, trying to calm him down but it didn’t appear to be working, based on the fact they could still hear Jackson yelling. 

Josh stood in the same spot as when he’d first approached, eyes wide in shock.

“Are you alright?”

“Ye-yeah. Thanks.” Josh didn’t move. For a second, it seemed he’d forgotten how. “I can’t believe you did that.”

He smiled, despite himself. “Don’t worry about it. It’s about time someone taught those two some manners.”

Josh returned the smile, waving goodbye with a light “see you in English tomorrow,” called over his shoulder. 

Now, he just had to deal with Liam.

“Thanks for the help but I could have handled them.”

“I know you can but I also know enough about anger, to recognise the signs when you’re about to punch someone.” There was no hint of judgement, no trace of disdain in Liam’s voice. In fact, he appeared to understand exactly how it felt to be on the verge of losing control. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I tend to let my anger get the better of me at times as well.”

He laughed at the innocent smile Liam offered. “I may have noticed.” There was something else though. Something Liam wanted to say, the reason he’d come here in the first place. “Look. If you came to insult me again, save it. I’m not interested.”

“I’m sorry!” Liam called as he walked away, making him stop. He turned around, confused. Why would Liam be sorry? “I was wrong. Corey told me how important lacrosse is to you.”

Of course he did. Corey had always felt the need to step in on his behalf. Releasing a huff of frustration, he looked away. “Well, he shouldn’t have.”

“I’m glad he did. I was a jerk and I shouldn’t have said what I did in front of the team.” Shit. What had Corey told Liam? “I made a snap decision about you, without trying to get to know you.”

He swallowed around the lump forming deep within his throat. This was not how he’d pictured his day going. His throat was so dry, he could hardly speak. “What, ah- what exactly did Liam tell you?”

“Just that you don’t like being popular like I thought. He said I’d hurt you when I said otherwise. Like I said, I’m sorry. I don’t always think before I speak.”

He definitely needed to have a word with Corey about minding his own business. At least, it seemed like Corey had been vague with the information he gave away. “Thanks, Liam. For this and for your help with Jackson.”

He couldn’t suppress a smile at Liam’s wide grin. “All I did was tell him the truth. You earned your place as Captain and I won’t let him say otherwise.” 

Once he’d made it back to his truck, slumped in the driver’s seat, he took a moment to examine his hands. Sure enough, when he opened them, he found dried blood smudged across his palm and fingers. Luckily, the cuts weren’t too deep and wouldn’t cause much of a hassle during lacrosse. All in all, the day had turned out better than he’d expected.

Maybe Liam didn’t hate him, after all.


	5. Chapter 5

There were books everywhere. Textbooks, notebooks, loose paper discarded in a heap. The table was buried under it all; what little space remained between the books, was filled with pens, highlighters and rulers.

“Hey, there you are.”

“I can’t talk, Liam. I have to study.” He didn’t look up, just kept reading, rapidly jotting down notes.

“Are you sure? It looks more like your bag blew up.”

The joke fell on deaf ears. He was barely aware of anything outside of the table and books laid out in front of him.

“Hey, are you alright?” Liam asked, whilst sitting down in the seat across from him.

“No, I’m not alright. I’m trying to study and I can’t concentrate with you questioning me.” Liam blinked, thrown by the sudden hostility.

“Okay.” Liam said it slowly, raising his hands in a gesture of peace. It only annoyed him more since he hadn’t made any move to leave. “Why don’t you tell me, why you’re in such a bad mood?”

“Just leave me alone!” That outburst earned him a warning from the librarian and the threat of being kicked out. “I’m not in the mood.”

Liam scoffed, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. “After that? I don’t think so.” What had he done to deserve this?

“What’s your problem?” He didn’t care if he was hissing. He wasn’t going to sit here and be accosted for trying to be a good student. “Why can’t you accept I have more important things to do, than hang out?”

“Right. In that case, why don’t you tell me what’s got you so riled up? Is it a test?”

Damn Liam was stubborn. “Yes. Now can I please get back to it?”

“What subject?”

“History.” He groaned. What was the point in fighting it? Liam obviously wasn’t going to leave without answers and he didn’t have it in him, let alone the time, to drag it out. This subject was going to be the death of him.

“You mean the test we had last week? The one we just received our results for?” Liam smiled, amused. “Isn’t it a little late to be studying?” It was hard to believe it had already been two weeks since the year started. Two weeks since he’d met Liam. It was also hard to believe that in the first week, they’d already had a history test. Seriously. Who gives a test in the first week of the year?

“Yes that one, Liam and I’m well aware we got the results back. Which is _why_ I’m studying.”

“I don’t get it. Are you trying to say you didn’t do well?” Liam smirked briefly but it dropped a moment later, when he noticed he wasn’t laughing. In fact, he was currently chewing his lower lip; the skin now red raw. “Wait, you’re serious?”

He closed his eyes, sighing. “Yes, Liam. I’m serious.” When he looked up again, Liam was staring with his mouth open, as though unsure of what to say. “Now, if you don’t mind. I need to get back to work.”

“It can’t have been that bad?” It was so quiet, he almost didn’t hear it. “I mean it’s not like you failed. Right?”

“No. I didn’t fail but I wasn’t far off.”

“What did you get?” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, unable to sit still under Liam’s unrelenting gaze. Why couldn’t Liam just let it go? “Come on, Theo. What was it?”

“C-.” He couldn’t look Liam in the eyes. Not after saying it aloud. “Even then, I only just scored high enough to pass. A couple of points less and it would have been a different story completely.”

“Is it really that bad? It’s just one test.”

“It’s not just _one_ test though, Liam.” He could feel his heart racing. It was the first sign of an oncoming panic attack and that fact alone, made the situation so much worse. He couldn’t lose his composure. Not here. Not now. The library was full; people strolling the aisles, set up around tables, sprawled out along the floor off in the corner. They couldn’t see him like this. He had to leave. He needed to get out of here.

“Theo?” Liam tried to place a hand on his shoulder but he pushed it off as he ran, the doors slamming shut behind him. “Theo!” 

Air. He needed air.

He pushed through the front doors of the school, sprinting across the grass and collapsing as he rounded the side of the building.

A few seconds later, someone was beside him. They were crouching in front of him, a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looked up and was met with blue. Bright blue eyes lit with worry.

“Theo, what’s going on?”

“Breathe. I can’t- I can’t breathe.”

“I’m going to get a teacher. I’ll be right back.” Liam stood up but pulled back at his light grasp on his hand.

“Don’t go.” It was a plea. A plea not to leave him alone.

“Theo, we need to call for help.”

“No. Pa-panic.”

“What?”

“Pa-panic a-attack.”

“A panic attack?” He nodded, unable to form anymore words right now. “Okay. Okay, Theo. You need to calm down.” He shook his head. “Theo, you need to breathe.”

“I ca-ca-can’t.” He could feel tears pooling in the corner of his eyes, threatening to spill any moment now. Liam held his hand, squeezing tightly. The next thing he knew, his hand was on Liam’s chest, resting above Liam’s heart.

“Breathe with me, Theo. Breathe with me.” Liam whispered, a desperation in those seven words he couldn’t ignore. He felt Liam’s heart beating under his hand; the vibrations sending a tingling sensation through his hand, as it rose along with Liam’s chest. He counted each beat, tracking the rhythm. He took a deep breathe, then let it out. His body shuddered from the effort but it was better than before. He took another deep breathe, then another. Each one was slightly steadier than the last, his breathing slowly evening out and returning to normal.

He just sat there at first, needing to collect his thoughts. He needed to come to terms with what had just happened. He let his eyes close, his head falling back against a nearby tree, exhausted from the strain. Liam made no attempt to move either, maintaining a hold of his hand and keeping it in place over his heart.

It was Liam who finally broke the silence. The softness to his voice, helping soothe him further. “Are you okay?” He nodded, not ready to speak yet. “What happened?”

He couldn’t hold out any longer. The tears he’d been trying to prevent were now falling, tear streaks lining his cheeks. “It’s too much. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to wrap my head around it. I’m fine in every other subject but for some reason, history just becomes a mess of dates and battles.”

“Theo, you’re putting too much pressure on yourself. You don’t have to have a perfect grade on every test, in every subject.”

“You don’t understand, Liam. I can’t let my parents down.”

“I’m sure they’d understand. They wouldn’t want you to burn out. They definitely wouldn’t want you to work yourself up into a panic attack. We can see how hard you’re trying. That’s all anyone can ask for.” 

They fell silent again, taking in the calm between them. It took him a moment to realise Liam was talking. He’d been so focused on the heartbeat, pulsing regularly through his palm, that he wasn’t listening to anything else.

Noticing his confusion, Liam repeated the question without hesitation. “As you know, history is my favourite subject. What do you say I help you study?”

“You’d do that?” He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t surprised. He’d never expected Liam to offer to help him.

“Of course. Besides, it’ll be fun.”

He had to laugh at that. “I don’t know if I’d agree with you on that.” Liam kept surprising him. His understanding. His patience. His support. He needed it more than he cared to admit. “Thank you.”

“No problem. By the way, you left so fast you forgot this.” Liam dropped his bag; hastily packed, books peeking through the open zipper.

He was definitely falling for the boy in front of him.

The boy who grounded him.

The boy who had his back.

If only he knew what to do about it.


	6. Chapter 6

_“Prisoners lived in a wooden building known as the barracks; beds lining the room, three or four bedshigh so they reached the ceiling. They were confined in small spaces, the camps dirty and no medical aid with doctors at war and their own sick as well and without proper supplies. It didn’t take long for sickness to spread from one prisoner to the next.”_ He was at Liam’s, listening to an explanation of living conditions faced by prisoners of war. It all seemed so simple now. The way Liam phrased it, the straightforward approach he used, was easy to understand. It all made sense. _“Prisoners were lucky if they ate twice a day; their meals a small piece of bread and soup so thin, it could have been water. The officers, based on rank, were given preference. Whether the prisoners received their meagre rations, depended on how much the officers had taken._

“Why is this so easy with you?”

Liam laughed, light and amused. “I guess it helps when you really enjoy the subject. I can accept textbooks aren’t the most exciting way to learn.”

“Don’t tell me. You’re going to teach history one day, aren’t you?” It was playful and Liam gave as good as he got.

“What if I am? You have a problem with that?”

“Hey, if you want to return to the chaos and pain that is school, who am I to stop you? As long as I don’t have to pay.”

“How kind of you.” The sarcasm was duly noted. “I suppose I can wave my fee for you. After all, you need all the help you can get.”

“Okay, rude.” It didn’t help that he couldn’t stop smiling. He wasn’t exactly radiating a sense of feeling insulted. Not that he could when he was having so much fun. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this relaxed, this open, this unguarded. “So, how did you become so interested in history anyway?”

“It was my first class back in middle school. My teacher at the time, Mr. Hale, made it exciting. He’d set up the room to look like the place we were learning about. He’d get everyone involved and we’d re-enact the battle or situation. It made it real.” That did sound interesting. Better than reading rambling paragraphs of information that amounted to little more than a slab of gibberish. “You know, we could always try it ourselves.”

He raised an eyebrow, questioningly. “Do I look like a middle schooler?”

“It’s not about age. It’s about using an interactive approach and putting yourself in the scene. I think it could help.” Liam looked so hopeful, so excited, he couldn’t find it in himself to say no.

Besides, how bad could it be?

“Fine. If it means that much to you, we can _embrace our inner ten year olds._ ” He declared, mimicking a solider rallying his troops. _“Onwards, men! We have a war to fight!”_

He blinked as something soft hit in him in the face. Looking down at where it had fallen, then back to Liam, he scoffed. “Did you just throw a sock at me?”

“Maybe I did. What are you going to do about it, _solider_?”

“Careful what you start, Liam. You might not win.” Liam dodged, as he threw the sock back. “So, how are we doing this?”

“I have everything we need.” Liam opened his closet and pulled out several boxes, followed by some clothing. When Liam held them out, he finally recognised what they were.

“Is that a military uniform?”

“It’s a German officer’s uniform, complete with an authentic insignia and badges.” Liam opened the boxes, gently rifling through the contents. Inside were flags, replica guns and other historical memorabilia.

“Are you seriously telling me, you had all of this just lying around?”

“Yeah.” Liam quirked an eyebrow, once again questioning him with the look alone. He was going to have to do something about that.

“I’m not dressing up.”

“You’ll be playing the part.”

“Fine but you owe me.” He looked around the room, taking it all in. “Your shelf’s are lined with history books, your walls with replica medals and military banners. Now, I find you have, of all things, _military uniforms_ and _replica guns_ in your closet. I knew you were interested but I didn’t know you were obsessed.”

He had to grin at the insulted look on Liam’s face. He could see the amusement in Liam’s eyes. “You know what? For that, you get to be the prisoner.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, you’re certainly not in charge. There’s no way I’m giving you that sort of power.”

“Worried, Dunbar?” He could already imagine it. The idea itself was interesting, just wait until they started. Nothing too over the top of course.

“No. I’m just not interested in subjecting myself to that sort of torture.” He gasped, placing a hand over his heart in mock offence. “Don’t start, Raeken. Are you really going to try to deny you weren’t just thinking about what you’d make me do? We both know you would go mad with power, given the chance. I, for one, won’t be responsible for enabling it.” 

“Oh, that’s it.” Liam fell back as he tackled him, the two of them landing on the floor beside Liam’s bed. Within seconds, they were tangled around one another, resting atop a pile of clothes Liam had thrown aside. He had the upper hand, having pinned Liam with his hands holding Liam’s arms above his head, knees holding Liam’s legs in place. “Now. Who was it you said is in charge?”

“My answer isn’t changing.”

“You might want to reconsider. I can be quite persuasive, when I want to be.”

“Look at you.” Liam started laughing again. “You’re not even in control yet and you’re _already_ desperate for it.”

“Excuse me, I am not _desperate._ ”

“Theo, you tackled me to be a soldier in a pretend battle. What do you call that?” Liam smirked. If he thought he’d won, he clearly didn’t know him. This was far from over.

“I call it me, putting you, in your place.”

“You know what? Maybe this was a bad idea.”

“What? Giving up already?

“To save the peace, yes.”

“Alright, Dunbar. I accept your truce.” 

With that, they both stood up and moved to take a seat, Liam on his desk chair and Theo on the bed.

“I think that’s enough study for one day.” Liam was right. They earned a break.

“So, nice room.”

Liam shook his head and sighed. “Really?”

“What?”

“Is that all you’ve got?”

“For your information Liam, I meant it. Apart from the obvious mess, of course.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You sound like my mum.”

“Can you blame her? It looks like something blew up. Though if I take a closer look, I’m sure I can find something embarrassing.”

“Go ahead. There’s nothing to find.” Liam leant back against his chair, sure of himself.

“You sure? No magazine collections? No hidden childhood photos? No diary?”

“Nice try, Theo but I told you. I have nothing to hide.” Before he could respond, the door opened and a woman walked in. “Hey, Mum.”

“Liam. What did I tell you about cleaning your room?”

This time he managed to stifle his laugh. I mean this was Liam’s mum we’re talking about. “That it needed to be done.” Liam recited automatically, as if he’d said it a hundred times before. Given the state of his room, he probably had.

“Yet it’s still a mess. I’d almost say it’s worse than when I left this morning, if that’s even possible. Anyone would think you lived in a swamp. Especially when you have company.” Liam’s Mum looked at him and he smiled, receiving one in return. 

“Mum, this is Theo.”

“Hello Mrs Dunbar.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Theo. Please. Call me Jenna. I’m sorry you had to see what a slob my son is.” Neither of them missed the way Liam rolled his eyes. Not the smartest move he must admit. “Don’t roll yours eyes at me, Liam. Your floor is covered in discarded clothes, your lacrosse gear thrown in the corner and who knows what else.”

“It’s not that bad. I’ll do it later Mum.” This wasn’t going to end well. Even he could see that. You don’t mess with your parents and come out unscathed.

“No, you’ll do it now.”

“Mum, Theo’s here-”

“Then you should have done it the first time I asked you.”

“Mum-”

“I won’t ask again, Liam.”

“You didn’t ask the first time.” Liam muttered under his breath but it only served to push Jenna over the edge.

“That’s it. I’ve had enough of that tone, Liam.” Oh, Liam’s done it now. “I came in here to give you your laundry to put away but why bother using a drawer. It’s not like you do any other time. Maybe I should just throw these in as well and leave it at that.” Liam’s eyes widened, utter horror written on his face. He had to say, he didn’t see this coming. Jenna was standing there, blatantly holding Liam’s underwear up for all to see.

“Mum!” Liam groaned, snatched the underwear and shoved it in a drawer. He, on the other hand, just sat there in shock.

“Don’t mum me, Liam. I won’t be spoken to like this.”

“Would you just stop?” Liam was practically pleading at this point.

“Liam Desmond Dunbar.” To say Liam turned red would be an understatement. If he thought Liam’s eyes were wide before, well. This was something else. It looked as though Liam had seen a ghost. Not only that but he seemed to have lost his ability to speak because he’d gone completely silent. “Clean your room or your grounded.” Jenna took a deep breath and turned to look at him. Now it was his turn to be the deer in headlights. “I’m sorry you had to see that, Theo.”

“It’s alright, Mrs Dunbar.”

“I told you, Theo. It’s Jenna.” She smiled and left, offering only a brief, unimpressed glance at Liam. 

It was silent after that, neither of them knowing what to say. What _could_ one say to something like that? It was Liam who spoke first but it took a while to fully process what had just happened.

“I can’t _believe_ mum did that.”

“Oh, I don’t know. It’s not all bad. So, Desmond?”

Liam groaned, levelling him with a narrowed glare. “Don’t start.”

“What? I like it.” He had to enjoy this. After all, one of them had to and it certainly wasn’t going to be Liam. “It’s cute.”

“Quit it, would you?” Liam went back to pleading. “Why did she have to use my middle name?”

“You should have known that would happen.”

“How was _I_ supposed to know?!”

“Liam. All parents use your full name when you piss them off enough.” It was an unwritten rule. It was just something they did.

Liam took a deep breath, before swallowing, his lower lip caught between his teeth. “Theo, I swear. If you tell anyone-”

“Relax. No one has to know. Oh and don’t worry. I promise to take it easy on the jokes.” Liam started smiling, which given the circumstances, couldn’t be a good thing.

“Just you wait until I find something on you.”

“Good luck with that.” There’s no way Liam would find anything. This was going to be fun.


	7. Chapter 7

Finally.

He could relax.

No tests.

No presentations.

No stress.

Even history was simpler, now he had Liam to help him. Just a stress-free, ordinary day with his friends. It didn’t happen often; usually there was always something on the back of his mind but not today. Today, he was able to sit down at lunch without thinking about anything else.

“You have to play it, Theo. ‘Silver Bullet’ is the best video game out now.” Mason hasn’t stopped talking about the game, since he bought it three days ago and was still trying to convince him to buy it. He had to give Mason credit though; he was nothing if not persistent.

“As much as I’d love to say yes, you know video games aren’t for me.” It was always fun seeing how horrified Mason was at that fact. The first time he’d told Mason he wasn’t interested and couldn’t remember the last time he’d played one, Mason was appalled. The next thing he knew, Mason was lecturing him on why video games were so important, “the best thing ever invented” and a normal part of teenage life.

“Wait, you don’t like video games?” Liam looked both amused and exasperated, almost as if he couldn’t decide what was more appropriate.

“That’s what I’m saying!” Mason appeared so offended, they all started laughing as Corey tried to calm Mason down before he launched yet _another_ speech.

“How can you _not_ like _video games_?” Liam had never looked so confused. It always amazed him, how worked up and invested people were when they found out.

That, of course, was the question of the day.

“I just don’t see the point. Every game is practically the same concept and repeatedly pressing buttons grows old fast.”

He glanced at Mason, who was now shaking his head. “It’s your loss, Theo.”

“I think I’ll live.” It didn’t get better than this. It was just so easy riling Mason up. The rest of the world seemed to fade away on these rare days. It felt like they were alone rather than sitting in the middle of a crowded cafeteria. Sparing a look around, everyone seemed immersed in their own worlds. No one paid mind to those around them.

Except one.

A few tables down was Josh.

On his own.

“I’ll be back.” He knew the others were calling but they’d understand. “Hey, Josh.” It was fair to say, Josh hadn’t expected him, given the way he jumped. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, it’s- it’s alright. I didn’t see you. That’s all.”

“I wanted to see if you’d like to sit with us?”

Josh blinked, seemingly lost for words. Was he missing something? “You- you want me to- you want me to sit with you? With your friends?”

“Sure.”

Josh sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. “What do you need?”

“Excuse me?” Now, he knew he was missing something.

“I get it, you helped me the other day and now I owe you.”

Seriously, what was going on? “You don’t owe me anything.”

“Then why are you asking me to sit with you?”

“I thought you might like some company.”

He hated seeing the way Josh looked down before answering. “I usually sit with my friend, Allison but she’s away today.”

He understood how that felt. How it felt to be alone and feel like you had no one. How it felt to not feel comfortable interacting with others.In middle school, there had been a time where both Corey and Mason were away for a week. He’d felt so out of place, so lost.

So lonely.

“Well, you’re welcome to join us anytime you like. Come on. Liam and Mason won’t stop watching us until we go back. Corey- well, Corey is good at pretending he’s not watching but we all know he is.” Josh laughed when Corey shifted, as they turned to look. Mason and Liam, on the other hand, just smiled and waved. They didn’t care whether they’d been caught or not. They were shameless. “So, what do you say? Would you like to join us?”

Josh nodded, a silent thanks before grabbing his bag and lunch. The introductions went smoothly, no surprise. Liam, had of course, already met Josh. Corey likes everyone, with the exception of certain pretentious lacrosse players. Then, you had Mason. Mason took to Josh like they had known each other for years. They fit seamlessly together, with Josh easily finding his place in the group. “I love Silver Bullet! It’s the best game ever invented!” Josh was positively beaming.

“Okay, you’re officially my new best friend.” Mason declared, with a deliberate glance at him. So, that’s how it was going to be. “Finally someone with some sense.”

“You’d have to be idiosyncratic to not love this game.” Josh held the same level of certainty as the others. It really wasn’t that big a deal.

Liam and Mason broke out laughing; Liam was so far gone, he was bent over in hysterics. They were enjoying this a little too much, if you asked him. Once again, only Corey had the decency to _try_ and hide his amusement. Josh, on the other hand, was understandably lost, looking between them in an attempt to figure out what was so funny. If Josh figured it out, he’d love to know. He had no idea himself, as to why they were laughing so much. “What?”

“You just picked straight up from our previous conversation.” Quite generous of Corey to leave out the details. Of course, Mason made up for that.

“The one in which, Theo here, admitted to being a peculiar being.” He rolled his eyes and Mason laughed. “You know it’s true, man.”

Seeing Josh’s confusion, Liam decided to ‘helpfully’ add, “Theo doesn’t play video games.”

“What?!” Now, everyone burst out laughing -Corey included. It was becoming a little too frequent for his liking, considering he was the source. Josh, like the others had, was staring at him in horror and disbelief. “Video games have to be the best thing ever invented.”

“That’s what I said!” Mason exclaimed in hysterics. “Seriously Josh. You’re my new best friend.”

“Why are you all so surprised? Is it _so_ hard to belief someone _can_ , in fact, survive without playing a video game?” They were acting as though it was unheard off. You’d think he was the first person in history to express a dislike for the games.

“Sorry man but it’s an unprecedented anomaly. You’re the only person I’ve ever heard say that. It’s a basic part of being a teenager.” Mason said teasingly.

“Alright. Alright. Can we move on, now? There has to be _something_ we can talk about, besides my apparent lack of ‘natural teenage interests’.” 

Liam decided to let him off and steered the focus away from him. It was nice sitting back and just listening to the conversation. Catching Liam’s eye a moment later, he mouthed a “thank you”. Liam smiled in return and mouthed “any time”.

This day couldn’t get any better.

He was really beginning to think this was the best day he’d had yet.

What could go wrong? 

“Hey, Raeken.”

Speaking of said pretentious lacrosse player.

He just _had_ to ask.

If there was one thing, you should never say, it’s ‘what could go wrong?’ It was just asking for trouble and fate almost always accepted the question as a test. A test to show you exactly how fast events can change and not for the best.

It just _had_ to be Jackson. 

“What do you want, Jackson?”

The students around them had noticed the scene, slowly turning to look. This didn’t happen everyday. Not in front of the whole school anyway.

“You and me. Lacrosse. A one-on-one match to prove once and for all, who the better player is.”

“Not interested.”

“Come on, Raeken. If you’re so sure you’ll win, what have you got to lose?”

“I’m not stupid, Jackson. You can’t bait me.” He had to scoff at Jackson’s sneer. What was this? Sixth grade again? He wasn’t about to fall for one of the most childish taunts ever invented.

“You’re just scared to face me. You talk big but we both know the truth. If we face off, you’ll lose and you don’t want the everyone to witness it.”

Liam stepped in, equally irritated. Jackson just had to ruin an otherwise perfect day. “Keep telling yourself that, Jackson. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Jackson huffed, clearly caught off guard by how they weren’t buying into his ridiculous plan. Somehow, Jackson had honestly thought this would work. “Can’t fight your own battles now, Raeken? You need your bodyguard to defend you?”

“I can defend myself just fine. I’m only going to say this one more time. I’m _not_ interested.”

“That’s fine. Obviously, you’re not as good as you pretend to be. Liam, however. Maybe _he’s_ the one I should be challenging. Maybe I should show your friends who the team Captain should _really_ be.

No one threatens his friends.

No one.

He stood up, ready to give Jackson a piece of his mind. “Lay one hand on them and you’ll regret it.” He wanted nothing more, than to wipe that smug smirk off of Jackson’s face. Jackson, who was pleased with the fact he’d finally gotten a reaction. This whole dispute was a game to Jackson. “I’m beginning to think you’re all talk, Raeken. All bark and no bite.”

That’s it. It’s time he showed Jackson just how much he meant every word. He was ready to finally wipe away that smugness, once and for all, when he felt a hand gently holding his arm down. Liam was behind him, holding him back, preventing him from doing what they both knew he wanted to. Something they both knew he’d regret later. “He’s not worth it, Theo.”

Jackson was smiling as if he’d hit the jackpot, as if this was all the proof he needed. “Looks like I was right. You do need Dunbar to protect you.” Liam’s grip tightened slightly, having felt him lift his arm again. He _really_ wanted to show Jackson just how strong he was.

_It’s not worth it. It’s not worth it._ It became a mantra, a lifeline to cling to. He took a deep breath, focusing on Liam’s presence and letting it soothe him. He needed to recompose himself and fast.“You know what? Liam’s right. It’s not worth being suspended over you.” He was tired of listening to Jackson’s arrogant, inflammatory spiels. He was sick of putting up with this shit. “Also, I wasn’t going to say anything but since you insist on being abusive and ignorant, there’s one problem with your plan.”

Jackson scoffed. It’s not like it had ever occurred to Jackson he could be wrong. Why would it? Jackson saw himself as the equivalent of a king. “What’s that?”

“You seem to have forgotten how lacrosse works. We can’t play _one-on-one._ What are we going to do, just run with the ball?” A quiet murmur arose around them, the other students questioning the viability of Jackson’s plan as well. It wasn’t hard to see the flaws.

“Fine, we’ll partner up.”

“So it’s two-on-two then. Plus the goalies we would need, which makes it three-on-three.” The voices spread rapidly, growing vigorously. “What is it, Jackson? One or three?” Jackson wasn’t taking the challenge well. Too bad he was no longer in the mood to be lenient. Not to Jackson, anyway. “Your plan doesn’t add up Jackson and if you can’t see that, then you don’t know lacrosse and I’ve already won.”

Muffled laughter broke out throughout the cafeteria. They were trying to hide their amusement, not wanting to set Jackson off. They had their arms up, trying to stifle the sound unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. When Jackson turned to face them, everyone quickly looked away, attention suddenly on something else. _Anything_ else. He was greeted with a look of pure indignation and hatred, as Jackson glared at him. “One day, Raeken. One day your act is going to slip and I’ll prove you’re a fraud.”

“I’m sure. Now, why don’t you move along and leave us alone.” 

Fuming, Jackson stormed out, much like he did the last time they’d had a disagreement. At least that time had led to getting to know Josh more. This time, it just left him on edge. 

Just like that, it went back to how it was before. Students returned to their conversations; some picking up from where they’d left off, whilst others fixated on the so-called ‘show down’. Were they seriously at the point of calling it a ‘show down’? The tension dissolved as fast as it had risen. Almost as if the commotion had never happened.

At least it did for the rest of the room.

He, on the other hand, couldn’t return to that earlier calm. It felt like every muscle in his body was wound tight, a coil of pent up energy. Of all days, of all times, Jackson had to choose _today_ to pick a fight. His earlier peace was gone. It was lost, the moment Jackson approached them.

He wanted to scream.

He wanted to throw something across the room, more than ever before. 

Judging by the looks Corey and Mason were giving him, he wasn’t subtle about that desire either. They shared equal looks of concern and sat back, maintaining a cautious distance, never taking their eyes off of him. Not that he could blame them though. It was rare for him to be _this_ worked up out of anger and when he was, it was best to stay clear. He tended to lash out in moments like this and it never ended well.

For anyone.

That’s why when he stood up to leave, neither one stopped him. Liam tried but Mason held him back, explaining why he needed to be alone. 

He desperately needed to calm down and there was only one way to do that, when he was like this. It was time for a little lacrosse practice. Throwing the ball at the goals would be a good release. If he was picturing a certain person in front of goal, when he threw the ball, well...

No one had to know.


	8. Chapter 8

This can’t be normal.

It was barely light out; the first rays of sun shine rising from the horizon. It seemed the sun didn’t want to wake up either; its usual warmth escaped him. The welcoming light he was used to, now arose in an unsettling haze. If he didn’t know better, he’d have said it was antagonising him. It made him regret getting out of bed; a silent desire for the darkness that came with the dead of night to return.

7 o’clock.

It was 7 o’clock and he was presently sitting on the school sports bleachers. Freezing and questioning his sanity.

Truth was, he couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t shake the image, the nagging voice which had kept him up. It felt like it was trying to make itself known, as if it _needed_ to be heard.

Almost like it were calling to him.

It left him restless, the growing need to feed the voice finally driving him out of his house. Why bother trying to sleep, when it was obvious his mind had other plans?

So here he was, binder in hand, writing at such an unseemly hour. Uncontrollable thoughts were running wild. These thoughts wanted to be freed, to be brought forth into the world. They demanded to be brought to life. If he didn’t write it down, he was going to break from the sheer number of thoughts overwhelming him. It already felt like he was losing his mind. He didn’t like the sensation of being under someone else’s control.

Something had drawn him in, leading every decision he’d made recently.

He was a puppet on a string.

Liam.

It was always Liam.

No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering back. He’d given a piece of himself away; one which now belonged solely to Liam and it was too late to get it back.

“Hey!” Mason’s voice carried across the open field. Far too much energy for this time of day, if you asked him. His smile in comparison could only be described as obligatory.

It was well known he wasn’t a very hospitable person when tired. Were it not for school, he wouldn’t leave his bed before at least 10 o’clock. The first hour of school was spent trudging though the halls and only half awake for 1st period. It took everything he had to hear, let alone understand a single word in class.

It was probably the only time when he didn’t feel like a showpiece at school. Everyone was either too tired or all too aware of his unsocial tendencies to approach him. Even Mason and Corey knew better than to disturb him. At least, they usually did.

Closing the binder abruptly, he hoped to indulge Mason. He, in this particular instance, had to at least feign being polite.

To distract him.

“Hey, Mason.”

Unfortunately, rivalling his own notorious dislike for early mornings, was Mason’s observation prowess. It didn’t matter how minute the details were, Mason never failed to notice them. It was for that very reason, he was now met with a look of suspicion, an eyebrow raised in question. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Short. Direct. Facts Mason definitely picked up on. He had a tendency to keep his responses vague and to a minimum, when he was hiding something. If Mason’s narrowed gaze was anything to go by, his lie hadn’t gone down well.

“Do you really expect me to believe that?You’re smiling and actually _talking to me_ and you expect me not to question that?” Okay, maybe playing nice wasn’t a good idea after all. “Theo, we both know you can’t lie to me. Why don’t we cut the act and skip straight to why you’re here?”

“I don’t know what you-”

“Don’t even try to deny it. It’s 7am and you’re writing? You’ve never been anywhere close to productive before school. Now, are you going to tell me what’s going on or not?”

He had to put an end to this before Mason put the pieces together. “There’s nothing to tell.” Mason wasn’t impressed.

“Then what are you hiding in your binder?”

“What?” How could he know that? Sure, he’d closed it too fast but that didn’t mean there was something inside. Okay, yes. He knew how that sounded but he was thinking on the spot and was quickly running out of ideas.

“Theo, I can see whatever it is sticking out the side.” Mason was right. When he looked down, sure enough, the corner of his note paper could be seen. _Shit_. It was easy to quickly slip the notes back into place. The problem was, the damage was already done. Mason had seen them and was more determined than ever to know what they were. Mason wouldn’t accept being kept out of the loop; he was like a dog with a bone. Especially when he was the one with a secret. He’d always told Mason and Corey everything; he was an open book with them. This wasn’t going to end until he’d told Mason everything. “Well?”

“None of your business.” This wasn’t going to end well. Not for him. Not knowing exactly what Mason would say. It wouldn’t take long to trace his sudden secrecy to its root cause, which was something he really didn’t want to be around for.

There was only one way out.

He had to run. 

“Theo!” Mason’s calls fell on deaf ears. He’d practically fled the second the thought crossed his mind. He didn’t look back, didn’t stop until he’d reached the school doors. He expected Mason to be right behind him. He’d been prepared to field more questions.

What he didn’t expect was to find Mason walking across the car park, with no sense of haste whatsoever. The earlier interest was gone, replaced by a sedate grin. It was as if Mason knew something he didn’t. That was fine by him. As long as Mason didn’t learn why he was really on the field, he was perfectly okay with not knowing whatever had made Mason so content.

There was no way Mason could know.

Not in such a short timeframe.

Not after he’d left. 

Mason couldn’t know.

Could he? 

He was starting to second guess himself when Mason merely walked past, pushing the doors open, without a word to suggest otherwise. Could it really be that simple?

Was he really in the clear?

He stood there staring at the doors, having since closed again. What was Mason playing at? Suddenly it all made sense. How didn’t he see it before? They’d been through this more than once. It was Mason’s favourite strategy, his most used way of getting what he wanted. Mason would pretend to already know, until you revealed everything yourself.

Well, it wasn’t going to work this time. 

As they caught up with Corey on their way to class, he fell back a bit. It was actually calm, now that he allowed the tension to fade away. He felt himself drift off, only half aware of the outside world. It took him a moment to realise Corey had been trying to get his attention.

“Welcome back. You okay, Theo?”

“Yeah. What’s up?”

Why was Corey smiling at him like that? What did he miss? “I said, you and Liam seem to be spending a lot of time together lately.” 

Mason knows.

Of course he knows; he should have known better than to think Mason wouldn’t figure it out.Not only that but he just _had_ to tell Corey. You stop paying attention for one minute and this is what happens. He really shouldn’t be surprised. There were no secrets between those two. Sometimes he had to question if they’d ever heard of discretion. “Do you two really have to do _everything_ together?” All he received in return was a pair of amused smiles. “What’s your point?”

“Nothing. I just thought you’ve been very happy, since you met Liam.” Corey had a way of luring you into a trap, in the same way Mason could. They made a formidable pair and if one was bad, then you had no chance with both. He just so happened to be the unlucky victim this time. “What’s going on between you two?”

“We’re friends. That’s it.” Mason and Corey exchanged a look, clearly unconvinced. “Look. Nothing’s changed, alright? Apart from the fact Liam doesn’t hate me anymore, there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Is that why you haven’t been yourself?”

“I’m not-” Mason sighed, the disapproval enough the cut him off. “Look if you care so much, I couldn’t sleep last night. Sorry if I wasn’t in the mood to talk.”

“So you were too tired to answer my questions but you were awake enough to _run away_?” Yeah. That might not have been his best idea. In his defence, he _was_ tired. He wasn’t thinking clearly and his desperation didn’t help. “Maybe if you told Liam how you felt, it could change.” 

He did not just hear that.

He had to be wrong.

Mason couldn’t have said what he thought he’d heard. 

Mason, unfortunately, didn’t show a trace of confusion to suggest he had, in fact, misheard. “Not happening.”

“Theo-” Of course, Corey took Mason’s side. What’s new? They practically shared a brain at this point. From the day they met, the two had been on the same page, agreeing with whatever the other one said. This was no different. I mean, why take _his_ side? Its not like this was one of the hardest things he’d ever have to do.

“No.” They made it sound so easy. _Tell Liam_. It’s not like this would change his life. It’s not like it had the potential of ruining a friendship, which he was beginning to rely on. Mason and Corey were incredible, they’d been by his side for as long as he could remember. They meant well, they really did. The problem was, for them, it was a natural conclusion. They didn’t understand that all he pictured was Liam laughing at him. It was his biggest nightmare. Equally as terrifying as his fear of heights. He felt sick just thinking about it. Only one person had ever _truely_ made him feel understood.

Liam.

No matter how hard he tried to hide something, Liam always seemed to know. He was an open book, whether he liked it or not. Had the situation been different, Liam would have understood why he couldn’t go through with it. Liam would have told him it was okay. He never felt pressured around Liam. He could be himself without any expectations.

It was nice to have at least one person on his side. That was the only reason he wasn’t _completely_ panicking right now.

Even if Liam didn’t know it. 

“Theo, you could have exactly what you want. All you have to do is say it.” He might have listened if Mason wasn’t being hypocritical. As it was, that reasoning only seemed to apply to him.

“Says the man who took a year to ask Corey out.” Mason was less than impressed to have his own hesitation used against him. “You can’t expect me to do what you wouldn’t.”

“I like to believe that gives me perspective.”

“I’m not doing it, Mason. I don’t know about you but I’m not overly keen on being rejected.” There was no way Liam felt the same way. It was hard enough to convince Liam he wasn’t a self-centred jock and to give him a chance. He wasn’t going to get his hopes up for something that would never happen.

“You seriously believe that? Haven’t you _seen_ how he looks at you? I’m telling you Theo, Liam likes you.” Mason had always been the optimistic one.

“Don’t lie to me. I am _not_ telling Liam. End of story.” He didn’t need Mason’s pity and he didn’t appreciate being questioned.

“Speak of the devil.” He felt his heart stop when he followed Mason’s gaze, only to find Liam and Josh heading their way. This was just his luck. 

“This stays between us. Not a word of this to Liam. I mean it.” The truth was he had nothing to worry about. It was his choice whether he told Liam or not.They would never out him. Mason confirmed as much through a simple roll of his eyes, whilst Corey seemed offended he’d even suggested the possibility. 

This is what he gets for coming to school early. He should have waited at home until he had to leave. He should have known.

Nothing good ever happens this early.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for the wait. This chapter wasn’t easy to write and hopefully y’all like it. 😁


	9. Chapter 9

He felt free.

Every breath a relaxing breeze.

A symphony was playing, enchanting him. A weight lifted as he danced, his body swaying in time to the beat. He could do this all day. It took away his worries and gave him freedom in return; a sense of control over his life.

Kesha was a queen. Her music resonated with him, her lyrics capturing how he felt. The sweet undertones were in sync with her phenomenal range. It was a daily sound his family had become used to hearing. It had however, taken a slight turn when his mum said he needed to keep the volume down. The volume was part of the experience; it enhanced the connection; the music flowing through him as though it had always been there. That’s why he now used his earphones. It wasn’t what his mum had meant. He knew that, but it was the best he could do. She understood the importance he associated with the songs, which was the only reason she’d agreed.

He had every album saved on his phone, the matching CD carefully placed in his CD rack. Her recent album, High Road, was incredible. He’d been listening to ‘My Own Dance’ since its release. It spoke to him, to the part of him he kept hidden. It helped him express that side, helping him feel like he was enough as himself. That he didn’t need to change. Right now, though, he’d had an urge to play an earlier song. One which meant just as much, only for another reason. One which took on a whole new meaning this year. He had been replaying ‘Only Wanna Dance With You’ all day.

As the song ended, he took a moment to catch his breath. That was until he heard clapping, and his breath deserted him. Standing in his doorway was Liam. A wide grin in place. “Are you going to say something or are you just going to keep staring at me?” Liam’s grin widened, shaking him from his stupor. He felt his cheeks heating; if he wasn’t nervous before, he was now. He released a stuttering breath as he took his earphones out. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to see you shimmy.” He groaned, covering his face with his hands. This was just his luck. Liam just _had_ to see that. Why did it always have to be Liam? He sat down on his bed, unable to face Liam. “I didn’t know you dance.”

“There’s a reason for that.” It sounded pitiful.

“Aw, don’t be like that. You’ve got some raw talent. I say, let the world see it.” He couldn’t help the snort he made. It was so ridiculous.

“Not a chance.” Wait? This doesn’t make any sense. Liam was in his house. Liam was in his room. “How do you know where I live?”

“Mason told me. Seeing as you never did.”

“So you’re stalking me now?” He felt his eyebrow rise. It was strange how often that was happening lately. Liam confused him sometimes, but it was worth it.

“You wish.” Liam’s laugh really was infectious. Before he knew it, he was smiling. “I had to get your address somewhere. We’ve known each other for three weeks and you’ve never told me. How else was I supposed to come over?”

There was a reason he hadn’t given Liam his address yet. One which involved _not_ making a fool out of himself. “Yeah, about that-”

“At least now I can finally get to see the real you.”

“You already have.”

“You’re telling me you share everything? There’s nothing you’ve kept to yourself?”

“Nothing.”

“That includes Jackson and Matt.”

“I’m not stupid, Liam. I’m not about to give those two _anything_ to use against me.” Anyone in their right mind would keep quiet around Jackson. That went double for Matt because anything you said around him was guaranteed to get back to Jackson. If you were smart, you kept anything important guarded.

“There’s more to you than meets the eye.” People really need to stop doing that. What is it with vague comments? There is a number of possible meanings behind that one line, and he had no way to know what it was. How is a person supposed to react to that? How is _he_ supposed to react to that?

“What makes you think I haven’t-?”

“I can’t know everything about you in just three weeks, Theo. It’s impossible.” He felt a breath of relief escape. He needed to relax. If he didn’t calm down, he may as well tell Liam he was hiding something. He wasn’t exactly being subtle at the moment. “Besides, considering what you saw at my house, I think it’s only fair for me to have some dirt on you.”

Now they were back on even ground. He had to laugh at how easy it was with Liam. It was straightforward, no room for doubt. He was just overthinking as per usual. “You’ll be looking for a long time. My room is secret free.”

“So, there is a one somewhere else?”

“Nice try. You won’t find anything.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

“If you wanted to spend time together, all you had to do is ask.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m not sure if I should after that performance.” Liam’s smile had gained a mischievous edge. One he didn’t like at all. He felt the heat rising in his cheeks again, and he knew he was red.

“Are you ever going to let that go?” Liam only smiled, successfully feigning innocence. As the saying goes, ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’. 

He laid down as he spoke, closing his eyes. “So, what’s next? What do you want to do after high school?”

“I know we were joking the other day, but Ihave thought about teaching. I’d love to make history fun and for students to want to learn, like Mr Hale did. What about you?”

That was the question. One he still hadn’t found an answer for. “I don’t know.”

“What about lacrosse?”

Lacrosse. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about playing professionally. It would be a dream come true. That’s all it was, though. A dream. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“The odds of me being selected for an actual team are slim to none. You need to be incredible and I’m not that good.”

“What’s gotten into you? Since when do you give up?” Liam was always optimistic. He, on the other hand, often had less constructive thoughts. However, he prefers not to advertise that.

“I’m being realistic. I may be good, but I could never compete with the best.”

Liam stormed over and dragged him off the bed, a hand wrapped firmly in his shirt. Liam stood right in front of him, practically seething. “You need to give yourself more credit. You don’t understand how talented you are. Theo, you _are_ the best. Hands down. You could take on anyone without so much as batting an eye.”

He was speechless. He’d never thought of himself like that. He’d never known Liam had either. Liam truly believed he could make it and that meant the world to him. He’d always had support before. His parents had been rooting for him his entire life. Mason and Corey were in his corner no matter what. Despite all of that, no one had ever been so fiercely determined to make him believe in himself.

“You really think so?”

“Of course, I do. You prove it every time you step foot on that field.”

He felt the corners of his mouth twitching. In the end, Liam’s fighting spirit won out. He let himself smile and for once, let himself believe he could do this. He let himself believe he could have what he wanted. That’s when he realised neither he nor Liam had moved. Liam was standing an inch away, a smile lighting up his face, eyes glistening. Everything else became mute, fading into the background. Maybe he really could have everything he wanted. Maybe he could have Liam after all. All he had to do was lean forward and he could make the kiss he’d been dreaming of a reality. If he just-

“Oh, hello there. Theo, I didn’t know you’d invited a friend over.” - and just like that it was over. The moment was gone. It shattered into a million pieces; now he’d never know whether it was real or his imagination.

He took a sharp step back, Liam following his lead only slower. “Mum, this is Liam. Sorry I didn’t warn you, we didn’t plan it.”

“It’s okay, Theo. It’s nice to see you’re enjoying yourself. Liam, it’s a pleasure meeting you.”

“Likewise, Mrs. Raeken.”

“Theo, remember it’s your turn to cook dinner tonight. Are you staying for dinner, Liam?” His Mum knew how to make everyone feel welcome and at home within seconds of meeting them. It was one of many qualities he loved about her.

“I’d love to. Thank you for the invitation.” Liam had an unnerving smile, a slight shift in his eyes he couldn’t quite decipher. “So, Mrs. Raeken. What can you tell me about Theo?” He really hoped she went easy on him.

“What would you like to know?”

“As much as you can?”

“Well, there was the time Theo auditioned for a ballet.” He closed his eyes with a drawn-out sigh. He seriously needs to stop tempting fate. Nothing in his life was ever that simple. He should have known that would come up.

“Please tell me you have photos. I have to seeTheo in tights.” Liam laughed.

“Keep dreaming, Liam, because that’s a hard no. All photographic proof has long since been erased.” He did, in fact, have a sense of self-preservation. He wasn’t about to leave any trace of that day lying around.

“Actually, I have one.” Mrs Reaken held up a small piece of paper, the size of a photo print.

“That’s not possible. I destroyed them.” He’d made sure of it. He’d checked every inch of the house. There wasn’t a stone left unturned.

“You missed the one in my purse.” Her purse. How had he forgotten about that? It was the best place to hide it, knowing he would never even _think_ of going through her purse. She’d used that fact to her advantage. Before he could move, Liam had a hold of the photo. He cringed at the memory, knowing exactly what he’d been wearing. He was dressed in bright green tights, a green tunic and a green pointy hat, with a red feather attached.

“You were so cute, Theo. You should wear tights more often.” At least Liam had stopped laughing. Although for how long he couldn’t be sure.

“Keep in mind, I was five.” That felt like an important point to make. He stopped the class a year later. His mum was travelling down memory lane, and this was only the beginning. Every time this came up, it was the same speech. He knew what came next and could recite it perfectly. “Theo was a natural. He was born to play Peter Pan. Everyone agreed Theo was ‘The Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up’ in real life.”

“We get it, Mum.”

“Well, excuse me for wanting to remember your childhood. You won’t be here forever, Theo. You’re growing up so fast and before I know it, you’ll have moved out to find a place of your own.”

“Can we talk about this later?”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. A lot of boys take ballet.” That doesn’t mean he had to broadcast his own experience. “You loved dancing. It was such a shame to see you quit. I could already see the headlines: ‘Peter Pan, starring Theo Tessa Raeken’”.

This would be the perfect time for the Earth to open up and swallow him whole. Just put him out of his misery. He’d never been so red in his life. His heart was pounding, his nerves shot. “Mum!”

“What did I do now?”

“Do you have to tell people everything?!”

“You’ll need to be more specific, Theo.”

Liam spoke for him. “Mrs Raeken, I believe Theo’s referring to his full name.”

His mum sighed, a sound of tired exasperation. “Tessa is a beautiful name. I don’t see why you’re so intent on hiding every little thing about yourself. If it’s that important to you, I’ll make myself scarce before I say anything else to upset you.” The door closed behind her, leaving him alone with Liam. “Well, would you look at the time-”

“Not so fast, Theo.”

“Not a word.”

Liam’s smile was back, which only made him groan louder. “Liam-”

“You’re not getting out of this that easy. Tessa?”

He all but muttered his response, unable to look Liam in the eye. “It’s not funny.”

“It’s hilarious.”

“Come on.”

“After all the shit you gave me for my name? Yeah, I don’t think so.”

He had to cover his eyes, his hands shielding the fact he was still flushed. He’d never live this down. “Can we _please_ talk about something else?”

Liam laughed, sitting down beside him, where he’d once again chosen to bury himself in his sheets. “Let’s both agree to never mention the names Desmond or Tessa again. Deal?”

“Deal.” 

“We could do something on the weekend.” Liam knew when to stop, and he was grateful for that. They gave as good as they got, but both knew when to draw a line, before it went too far.

“We could see a movie? The Wild Hunt is out.”

“What if we visit Wolf Moon?” His heart almost jumped out of his chest. Panic was already beginning to set in. Wolf Moon was the town’s theme park and served as one of the most visited places during school holidays. “I heard it has a rollercoaster called ‘The Banshee’. It’s supposed to be amazing. What do you say we ride it this weekend?” His heart was in his throat; panic’s icy hand dredged deep within his chest. Every time he thought he was safe, something went wrong. It was as if he were caught in a time loop. He seemed bound to repeat the same embarrassment, each situation worse than the last. What had he done to deserve this?

”Why?” His voice was nearly inaudible, forced through a dry throat. “It’s a waste of time.”

“It’ll be fun.”

“I’m not sure I agree with your sense of fun. We’re taking about a cart on a track. It’s child’s play.”

“There’s more to rollercoasters than the cart. It’s the speed, the wind rushing through your hair.” He really didn’t need that image. “Theo, please.” Liam sounded exaggeratedly sad. When he looked up, he was met with the most ridiculous pout he’d ever seen. He snorted in sheer amusement. What surprised him the most was how he almost wanted to say yes. He had to convince Liam the movies were a better option, before he did something stupid.

“What are you? Five?”

“I’m starting to think you’re scared.” Shit. _Shit, shit, shit_. He was in deep and couldn’t find a way out. Everything he said made it so much worse.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being scared, Theo. We can go on the ‘Born Wolf’ instead.” His resolve was wearing thin. The Born Wolf was a ride for preschoolers, a simple merry-go-round. He wasn’t going to fall for Liam’s tricks.

“I’m not scared, Liam, but I’d rather not spend my day riding an overrated rollercoaster.” Liam had the nerve to laugh. He could practically taste the sense of victory. That was the final straw. “Fine. If you want to ride The Banshee, I’ll go. I’ll prove you’re wrong, once and for all.”

The rest of their conversation was a blur.He was numb. His entire body had shut down, closing in on itself. It was surreal; he was stuck watching the scene unfold, an outsider in his own body. The day had gone from bad to worse. Somewhere along the way, he’d agreed to meet up at Liam’s house on Saturday at noon. Liam had long since gone home, leaving him to stare blankly at the ceiling. One thought kept replaying in his mind.

He was doomed.


	10. Chapter 10

This wasn’t happening.

This couldn’t be happening.

He must’ve fallen asleep. That’s it. He was just having a nightmare. A very realistic, heart stopping nightmare.

Here he was, standing in line for _The Banshee_ , the tallest and fastest rollercoaster at Wolf Moon. He hadn’t been to a theme park in years, and now he was waiting to get on the worst ride of all. He couldn’t take his eyes off the blur of seats soaring past, all too aware of the shouts from above.

That would be him. They’d be travelling so fast no one could them. No one would know-

“Theo.” Liam’s voice brought him back, temporarily breaking through his growing panic. “It’s our turn.” Upon hearing those words, his heart begun pounding, panic intensifying by the second. The realisation this was real, that he was in fact wide awake, left him frozen. “Are you coming or not? You’re holding up the line.”

It turns out Corey was right. Apparently he _would_ do anything for Liam. Even ride this infernal death trap. With a sense of dread, he reluctantly drew closer to the rollercoaster, dragging his feet which seemed to be glued to the ground.

This was his worst fear.

Unintentional as it was, as much as Liam didn’t know about his fear, Liam still held a hand in his response. No one had done that before. Not even Tracy. He always found a way out of these situations without a hint of suspicion. As fate would have it, it had to be Liam who stood here with him, on the verge of finding out the _one thing_ he’d never wanted known.

Liam, who was by far his Achilles heel.

The person he cared about most.

A cruel irony.

As the bar clicked shut, he tried to control his laboured breathing. He felt trapped, a snare latched around him. He was the captured animal at the mercy of its captor, the hunter. The seat shifted, lurching forward on its path. The slow acceleration left him with a deep-seated tension; his muscles taut. His nerves were stretched thin, leaning heavily on the brink of breaking point.

“Look how high we are. We’re not even at the top yet!” Liam’s excitement was hard to comprehend. How could anyone enjoy being in such an unnatural position? He, himself, had the sense of being an intruder. They weren’t supposed to be here. No one was. “Seriously Theo, you need to see this.”

“I’m good.”

“It’s amazing, Theo. Everything’s so small.” The image of the world below disappearing didn’t help. He felt his heart skip a beat and become erratic. If he wasn’t careful, he’d fall apart at the seams. He had to keep it together.

“I don’t care how high we are, Liam. I don’t care about how fast we’re about to go. I’m on this stupid ride, like I said would. That’s the only reason I’m here.” Liam stared blankly at him for a moment, apparently at a loss for words. Soon, the blank stare was replaced by confusion.

“Is something wrong?”

“Why would anything be wrong? Everything’s perfect.” He practically spat the last word. Perfect. Their situation was anything but. Lashing out wasn’t helping matters, he didn’t mean to. It was his fear feeding into a need to hide, a need to protect his secret... a need to get out of here.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Liam’s voice cut through the ringing in his ears. The ringing a sign of how high they really were.

“I’m fine.” He knew he was grinding his teeth, but who could blame him? The metal confines in which they sat, was being hoisted miles into the air. How could anyone willingly subject themselves to this? They put their lives in the hands of machinery. Machinery that could fail. Machinery that could at any moment breakdown, the cables snapping and sending them hurtling to the ground. A wave of nausea swept through him, sending him over the edge. 

“Theo-”

“I can’t do this.”

“What do you mean you can’t-

“I can’t-I-I-” He couldn’t find the words to explain; this wasn’t supposed to happen. No one was supposed to find out. Liam must have seen something in his eyes because in that moment, his gaze turned soft. The previous confusion was gone, replaced by a gentleness.

“You said you weren’t afraid.”

“I didn’t want anyone to know.” His voice sounded low, whisper-thin.

“You could have told me. I wouldn’t have insisted we ride-” Liam’s eyes widened - far enough to be deemed comedic in any other situation - as the realisation dawned. “You did this because of me. I pushed you...” 

He dropped his attention to his shaking hands, desperately fighting back tears. Why did _The Banshee_ have to be so high? Humans were not meant to be this far off the ground. They were born for land, the beautiful solid ground which didn’t pose a risk of plummeting to your death.

“I’m sorry, Theo. I didn’t mean to pressure you.”

“You didn’t. I just- I couldn’t handle saying the real reason I didn’t want to go.”

“What did you think I’d do? Laugh?” He flinched. The truth is, he had. After all, the idea of him being afraid of something, let alone something as trivial as heights... well. It’s fair to say he found it easy to imagine people laughing. “I’m not an ass, Theo.”

After what had felt like hours, the rollercoaster reached the slope; leaving the sickening drop visible. The skin around his knuckles had turned white, what with how tight he was clawing at the safety bar. A whimper escaped, tears streaming down his cheeks. A sudden warmth coursed through him at the presence of a reassuring hand on his. Looking up, he was met with concern and sincerity.

“I’m right here. It’s nearly over.” All he could do was nod, unable to form a coherent sentence.

Then they were falling. 

The coaster tipped and left his stomach churning with the rapid descent. The world around faded to a blur, a distant memory lost in a sea of panic. The vague sense of someone’s hand squeezing his made it through the fog but did nothing to calm him. The wind was too strong, his thoughts too loud. He could hear Liam calling him, trying to ease his sheer terror, but it sounded distant. A muffled cry that couldn’t quite reach him. 

Suddenly he felt the bar, his safety line, releasing.

His heart stopped.

This was it.

He was about to die.

Just like that, it was all over. His life taken by a humans’ desire to conquer nature, regardless of the laws of gravity. “Theo.” That comforting presence was back, this time resting lightly on his shoulder. “Theo, it’s over.” The voice was louder, more focused. He registered the feeling of his heartbeat, returning unsteadily. He opened his eyes slowly, taking in Liam’s proximity. He couldn’t take his eyes off Liam. He could actually see him. They were still alive. “The ride’s over.” That’s when he realised they were once again at the boarding area. The safety bar had been released for them to exit. 

His mind was reeling, still trying to process the knowledge they’d survived. He was completely drained, unable to think straight or rationalise. He let Liam lead him off the rollercoaster and onto solid ground.

“Do you need help?” The ride attendant’s voice, evidently worried, filtered through. He barely registered how many people were waiting in line, watching with varying levels of concern. He imagined he looked terrible. He felt ready to keel over.

“We’re okay, but thank you. He just needs to sit down.” As they made their way over to a bench, exhaustion set in, rendering him helpless to prevent it, when he felt his legs give way. Liam caught him, arms wrapped firmly around him as he collapsed; head tucked into Liam’s shoulder, body wracked by choked sobs. Once he started, he couldn’t stop. He’d never let himself feel this way. Not in years. The raw terror, the blinding panic.

It was all too much. 

Time seemed to fade away. Liam clung to him, held him close and didn’t let go. Soft reassurances were repeated, promising he was safe.

Safe.

They were safe. 

Slowly, relief washed over him. He felt his muscles relax, his breathing calm. After a moment, he became aware of his surroundings, returning to reality rather than the panic-induced nightmare he’d been living. Through all that, Liam remained by his side, smiling as their eyes met. His own relief mirrored within the blue of Liam’s eyes. It was such a beautiful sight that he didn’t think twice before leaning in and kissing Liam.

For a moment, his problems, the memory of his choking fear were long forgotten. For a moment, he found pure happiness.

That was until Liam pulled back. 

Just like that, he snapped out of the reverie. Realisation sunk in like a stone in water, a heavy weight in his stomach. “Shit!” He grimaced, his skin heating. Liam’s frown left him reeling. He’d done that. He’d taken the beauty of Liam’s smile and moulded it into one of distaste.

“Theo?”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” His voice was low, resigned. He may have just ruined one of the best friendships he’d ever had. Liam might never talk to him again and that would honestly break him.

“You shouldn’t have done what?”

“The kiss. I wasn’t supposed to- I never meant to-” He’d been fooling himself to think they’d shared a moment yesterday, that there might be something between. That Liam might feel the same. He’d mistaken a lull in conversation for something he knew would never happen. “I can’t lose you.”

“You idiot.” It stung, but he’d known it was coming. It was his fault. “I thought I made it pretty clear I like you. I would have kissed you at your house if your mum hadn’t walked in.”

To say he was lost was an understatement. “You said- you always seemed so uninterested when we met. I never thought you’d...” He cut himself off, swallowing with a deep breath. “you pulled away.” The pain those three words carried was unmistakable.

Eyes pressed shut; fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, Liam exhaled slowly. “Theo. I only pulled away to make sure you wanted this, that it wasn’t just the relief.”

“It wasn’t.” His voice was but a whisper.

“As for when we first met, you were different. I didn’t like the act you put on. The one where you had to charm everyone, to impress the girls. I like _you._ The _real_ you.” Liam’s gaze softened. “The one who laughs freely. The one who will do anything for others. The one who’s afraid of heights.” 

He winced. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“Theo...”

“I was a mess. It’s embarrassing.” He muttered, eyes downcast. Liam was so collected, so understanding. Whilst Liam wouldn’t hold it against him, he still hated being seen like that. By anyone.

“Listen to me. There is absolutely _nothing_ wrong with not liking heights. Everyone’s afraid of something. I just wish I’d known.”

“Liam-”

“You don’t believe me, do you? I’m scared as well. I wanted to tell you how I felt two weeks ago. I wasn’t sure though. We’d only just met after all. It was hard to know what you’d say. If it came down to it, I would have chosen to be in _Jackson’s_ debt before I told you the truth.”

The idea alone was appalling. There was no telling what Jackson would make you do. The only guarantee is it would be far from pleasant. “You can’t be serious.”

“You better believe I’m serious. That has to tell you how scared I was, if I was willing to subject myself to Jackson’s warped sense of humour.” There was an earnestness to Liam he couldn’t deny. They seemed to fit together as one, a perfect match. Each one had something, a fear, pastimes, secrets. As much as they were still getting to know one another, he couldn’t wait to start. “Next time you don’t want to do something, just tell me.”

He nodded, resting his head on Liam’s shoulder. It was then he realised where they were. Sitting on the ground in the middle of a crowded theme park. The bench they’d been heading to was a little ahead of where they’d stopped. Liam seemed to notice his unease at standing out in the crowd. “What do you say we get out of here?” He let Liam help him up, still tired from before. Whilst he leant against Liam for support, he wasn’t ready to let go yet. It helped remind him this was real.

“Oh, and don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.” Liam smiled, one he seemed unable to resist, his own smile forming.

He loved Liam.


	11. Chapter 11

On Monday, they met Corey and Mason at their usual table. Hands entwined, they drew the attention of their friends within moments of approaching. Corey greeted them with an amused grin. Mason just shook his head. “Well, then. Anything you’d like to share?”

“No, not really.” Messing with Mason never got old. Liam sat down beside him, choosing the far side of the seat. That way he could face Mason with an innocent smile.

“So you’ve always held hands then?”

“I didn’t think I needed to state what you can already see.” Since they were children, there had been a challenge of sorts between them. One would bait the other into caving, banter designed to win and prove their point. Mason didn’t give up easily. Then again, neither did he. It wouldn’t be a challenge if they did.

“You finally told Liam. Good on you. I was beginning to doubt you would.”

He had a retort ready, mouth open to egg Mason on, when Liam spoke first. “Who said Theo did?” Wow. Okay, then. Apparently there was a new player. It’s on.

“You and I both know if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have.”

“You sure about that?”

Mason laughed, breaking their gaze. “I concede. As touching as this is, I for one don’t need to see your love fest.”

This coming from the most public person ever. “You realise you and Corey are the epitome of ‘that’ couple?”

“Says the one pressed against his boyfriend. Seriously though, Theo. Congrats. You too, Liam.” He would have said thank you, if Mason hadn’t continued. It would never be that simple. “Honestly, it’s about time. I was starting to think we were going to have to intervene.” Mason smiled, leaning back in his chair.

A huff rose from beside him. Liam rolled his eyes, but as he watched, he saw the slight twitch of his lips. Liam was trying not to smile. “Says the one who took almost a year to ask Corey out.”

It was hilarious watching Mason stumble in his haste to sit up, nearly falling off the chair in the process. “I can’t believe you told him!” The betrayed gasp had them all laughing. Corey wiped his eyes, gradually calming after a few deep breaths.

“It was so endearing. You were so nervous.”

“You didn’t ask me out either.” It was the plea of a petulant child. A brooding Mason was quite the sight.

“Only because I wanted to see how long you’d take. Besides, I loved how tongue-tied you’d get.” Mason slumped in his chair, gaze fixed on his boyfriend. He couldn’t stop the laugh which arose, deep and loud enough to leave him shaking. In an instant, that gaze was on him.

“It’s not funny, Theo.” That didn’t change anything. He hadn’t stopped laughing, hands clutching at his chest. “Theo.” He tried. Really, he did. The best he could do was to place a hand over his mouth, which at least muffled the sound. Slowly, Mason’s narrowed pout morphed into a knowing grin. He’d known Mason for too long to expect anything good to come out of that look. It screamed trouble.

“Seeing as you find this so funny, maybe Liam should see what you’ve been doing.”

“Wha-what are you talking about?” It was hard to catch his breath.

“Your note.”

His laughter ceased. Two words achieved what he couldn’t. He felt the crease form in his forehead, eyes narrowed. Mason couldn’t mean what he thought he meant. “What?”

There was a victorious glint to Mason’s grin. As though he was right where Mason wanted him. “The note, or should I say notes, you wrote a few weeks ago.” Shit.

“How do you-”

“You dropped these on the field.” There in Mason’s hand, the only evidence he needed, were a handful of the notes he’d written for Liam. Those of which should have remained hidden with the rest. This explained so much. That’s how Mason knew about Liam last week.

“Give them back.”

“I could _or_ I could give them to Liam. They are for him.” He cringed at the thought of Liam reading any of what he had written.

“What’s Mason talking about, Theo?” Liam asked. There was no way Liam could see them. Ever.

“It’s nothing-”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing to me.” Mason had to gall to smile, not even blinking at his glare. “Look for yourself.” Mason held a hand out, but when Liam went to take the notes, he felt his body moving. Before he knew it, he had rounded the table and pushed Mason, sending both of them tumbling off the seat. There on the floor, knees pinning Mason’s waist, he scrabbled for the paper clutched tight in Mason’s hand.

“Give them back!”

“No.”

“Mason!” 

“Theo! Stand up. People are watching.” Liam was right. All eyes were on him; the unexpected tackle having caught everyone’s attention. Not to mention he was straddling one of his friends in the middle of the cafeteria. He couldn’t bring himself to care. He had bigger concerns.

“Not until he hands them over!”

Liam sighed before reaching forward and to pull the paper out of Mason’s hand. “Whatever it is, can’t be that bad, definitely not worth making a scene over.” The sound of shuffling reached him as he struggled to stand up.

“No!” Mason wanted to laugh, but it became a huff of air, his arms pressing on Mason’s chest. It was too late. Liam was already reading, the realisation instant. All he could do was watch as his inner thoughts were acknowledged. He should never have written them down. That was his mistake. 

Having sat silently through all of this, Corey was trying in vain to understand what was happening. To anyone else, it was a piece of paper. No one else knew what he’d written. Not yet, at least. “What is it?” Corey had never liked being out of the loop, especially when he was the only one.

Mason fixed that. “They’re love notes.” He really wished he hadn’t heard Mason coo. This was rock bottom. There was no saving this situation. He sunk onto the seat, letting his head drop onto the table, arms enveloping him in an attempt to hide. He wasn’t about to watch this unfold, not if he could help it.

What worried him was he felt like this wasn’t over yet. He had an unshakable feeling there was more to come. Not that he had the faintest idea of what that would be.

That is until he heard softly spoken words. Words uttered in a familiar voice. Words he knew all too well. This had to be a joke. It had to be.

What had done to deserve this?

This is why you don’t mess with Mason. 

‘ _I can’t stop thinking about you._ ’

“Stop.”

‘ _Your smile lights up my day._ ’

“Liam, please.”

‘ _I dream of-_ ’

His head shot up, eyes wide and pleading. “Liam I’m begging you, don’t say it.” There was no hesitation, no decision to make. Liam’s gaze softened. The notes were pocketed, and a nod followed. A promise.

He mouthed a thank you.

“Who knew you were so romantic?” Corey teased. Mason laughed, his wide grin could rival the Cheshire Cat’s. He, himself, felt as though he’d fallen down the rabbit hole. No one in this group let each other off without first dragging it out. Himself included. This was just the start. 

“I love them.” Liam radiated reassurance and sincerity, making him smile in return. With Liam beside him, he drew in close for a light kiss. A whisper reached his ears, words meant for him alone. “We’ll talk after school.” It was a wonder he’d made it this far. What had he gotten himself into?

This was going to be a long day.


	12. Chapter 12

“Pass the ball! Pass the ball!”

The game had started off in their favour, Beacon Hills taking an easy lead. It had seemed like they were in for a landslide win. Then it changed. Halfway through, Devenford Prep made a comeback. Due to the lack of teamwork of their part. It’s easy to imagine Coach wasn’t happy. “Jackson! Pass Theo the ball!” He’d lost count of how many openings Jackson had passed up, in favour of making a shot for goal. This being one of them and like the rest, he missed. The ball was intercepted and Devenford were in the lead on 10:7. “Jackson, get over here! You’re out!” Coach was pissed and Jackson’s indignant stare didn’t help. “Don’t give me look, Whittemore. Get off the field! Holloway, you’re in!”

With Nolan in, they regained their momentum, running circles around Devenford Prep. One pass after another secured another point. They formed an unbreakable chain; he, Nolan and Liam spread out, throwing to ball down the field. Their teammates joined in, feeding them the ball. Nolan caught everyone off guard, players and crowd alike, by launching the ball to Liam in the opposition’s goal square. Coach looked ready to blow. “Holloway! What was that?!” Before Coach could continue, Liam had already thrown the ball. It spiralled across the field, a perfect shot to where he was standing in their goal square. He’d scored before the goalie realised he had the ball. The dull drone of the siren sounded, followed by the roar of the crowd. They’d won. Unexpectedly and in true Beacon Hills style, they’d surpassed Devenford Prep by 2 points. The team huddled together, pulsing with energy pulsing.

It was contagious.

He was swept up in the celebration, the awe, the excitement. Liam was by his side, trying to calm an overwhelmed Nolan. It was easy to see how a person could feel lost in the frenzy of moving bodies. Liam pulled Nolan closer, providing a comforting presence as both he and Liam refrained from the excessive cheering. “That’s the way you play! Keep playing like that and we might just win the championships.” Coach had always been sentimental, he just didn’t like to show it or not. Be it an insult or a carefully disguised compliment, they all knew Coach cared for every student.

As the team split, an opening formed behind him. He felt hands on his back, pushing hard against him. He stumbled forward, remaining upright by the sheer luck of Liam catching his arm. Turning back, he came to face Jackson. Jackson who looked furious. “What’s your problem, Jackson?” He’d had enough. He was sick and tired of Jackson’s attitude.

“My problem, Raeken, is you. You cheated your way onto our team and were falsely named Captain. Yet, here you are, being hailed for a victory you never should have been a part of.”

“How many times are we going to do this? Get it through your head. I’m on this team and nothing you say will change that.” It was the same fight, the same dividing point, and he for one was over it. “You’re the one who nearly cost us the match. If anyone is guilty of not deserving their spot, it’s you. You wouldn’t know how to play as a team, if your life depended on it. It’s all about you. That’s why Coach picked me. Let it go!” With that, he felt a sharp blow to his cheek. His vision blurred for a second, then returned with what could only be described as deadly. Jackson’s fist was locked, as if prepared for another punch.

Screw this.

If Jackson wanted a fight, then that’s what he’d get. He landed a punch, knocking Jackson off balance; apparently fighting back was unexpected. It wasn’t a surprise. Jackson doesn’t think anything through, instead underestimating everyone. It went downhill from there. It was a blur of movement, one move fusing with the next. Each punch came one after the other, colliding with his chin and nose. He threw himself at Jackson, a direct blow to the stomach. Hands grabbed at their back, trying to separate them. It was pointless. Neither Liam nor the team could put an end to the fight. It had been brewing for years and he couldn’t see reason. He was acting on pure anger, borne out of Jackson’s spite.

“Theo!” Liam’s calls went unanswered.

Jackson grabbed him, fists wrapped in his jersey, and slammed him into the ground. He felt the vibration spread throughout his back; the shock rendering him motionless as Jackson continued laying into him. He barely registered his hands rising in defence, shielding his face as much as possible from the onslaught of punches. “Jackson! Let go!” He caught the fear in Liam’s voice, felt the desperate attempts to pry Jackson’s hands off. The team tried to help but Jackson refused to budge, dragging him along. There was no end in sight; he couldn’t hold out much longer.

In the blink of an eye, it all changed. Where Jackson had been leaning a few seconds ago, was replaced by a bright blue. The sky. He was facing the sky, rather than the resounding darkness accompanying the sharp impact. The sight didn’t last long; it was quickly replaced by a frantic Liam. “Theo, are you okay?” All he could do was blink. Liam helped him to his feet, letting him lean in for support.

That’s when he spotted Coach. 

He had never known Coach to be this angry. No matter how intense or chaotic things were, it had never gone this far. Jackson was directly in front of Coach, held firmly in place.“Whittemore!” No one moved; shocked by the rapid turn of events. “You’re benched!Three games!”

“What?!”

“Fight on my field, you’re out.”

“What about him?!” Jackson was practically screeching. Liam looked ready to rip Jackson’s hand off when Jackson pointed at him.

“Self-defence. I will not punish someone for defending themselves.” Coach didn’t give an inch, refusing to pander to Jackson’s sense of entitlement. “Raeken. Go see the medic. Now.” It was a challenge to move, what with the throbbing ache coursing through his body. It felt like he’d been hit by a truck. The only reason he made it was the fact Liam stayed with him the whole time. He braced his head on Liam’s shoulder; the slight relief in pressure was greatly appreciated. He closed his eyes when they reached the bench, leaning further into Liam. Having been given the all clear, they could finally go home.

Usually he wouldn’t let anyone drive his truck. It was precious to him. That might sound strange; to others it’s just a truck, there’s not much thought. For him though, it’s more than that. It’s his, and he doesn’t want to let it go. He didn’t have a choice though. He was in no state to drive. Liam took the keys without a word, silently acknowledging the unspoken decision. It felt so good to sit down, as if the car seat had been made for this moment. There was only one place in the world that could top it, and that was his bed. His soft bed. He could feel it now.

“What the hell was that?”

He should have known Liam would ask, eventually. It made sense; had the situation been reversed, he’d have wanted to know as well. That didn’t make it any easier though. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Theo.”

“It’s not important.” He shifted uncomfortably at Liam’s stare, flinching when a spike of pain rose in his back.

“Not important?” Liam asked incredulously. “Theo, look at you! Do you have any idea how scared I was? For a minute there, I thought Jackson was going to kill you!” He understood how Liam felt; the same thought had crossed his mind more than once. Jackson snapped; there was no reasoning, no talking Jackson down. It was almost like Jackson was in a trance. He could only imagine what it looked like to everyone else. “I’m not driving until you tell me.”

Apparently, it wasn’t a question anymore. He just wanted to go home. If filling Liam in was what it took, then so be it.

“Believe it or not, we used to be friends.”

“You and _Jackson_?” Liam was understandably struggling to process the idea. Not that he blamed Liam. It sounded impossible. Were it anyone else, he’d have said the same.

“I get it. Who’d have thought we got along once?” It was a bitter memory. They’d been close when they were younger, almost as close as Mason and Corey. “It was back in middle school. We both tried out for the school’s lacrosse team and the coach picked me to be captain. You were right when you said Jackson had to be perfect; he won’t accept anything less. It’s part of what brought us together; after all, I’m the same. Jackson couldn’t handle not getting the position, so he turned on me. It didn’t matter that we were both on the team or that we were supposed to be friends. Instead of being happy for me, he was bitter. He resented me for getting what he wanted.” Liam didn’t know what to say. It was a lot to take in. “Jackson accused me of cheating. He told me to confess, to tell the coach what I did and quit. It wasn’t just the captaincy he wanted me to give up, though. Jackson wanted me off the team. He said didn’t deserve a spot. His resentment only grew when I was chosen as Captain again in high school.”

“That is ridiculous. You’d have to be out of your mind to think you’d ever cheat.” Whatever Liam has been expecting, it wasn’t this. “You know Jackson’s wrong, right?”

“I know but it was never the same. Our friendship was over the second I won. At least it was to Jackson. It took me two months to give up hope.” There wasn’t much left to say. No amount of talking would change reality, so they may as well move on. Liam let him have that reprieve, putting the truck in drive instead than pushing the conversation.

It was a tense trip home; neither he nor Liam spoke. Liam was wound up by the truth, choosing to stay quiet rather than snap. He, on the other hand, was too tired to do more than draw comfort from the chair’s cushioning. He also knew what was awaiting him when he finally made it home. His mum wasn’t going to take it well and unlike Liam, she wouldn’t hold back. Liam already messaged Corey and Mason, promising he was alright and his dad was still at work. One worried family member was enough; he didn’t need everyone breathing down his neck.

He took a deep breath as Liam pulled up. The sound of the engine cutting out seemed to match that of his heartbeat. It felt like an eternity before he eventually climbed opened the door. He was staring at the front of his house with undisguised hesitation. There was no way to avoid the confrontation. He knew that. He was bound to run into his mum sooner or later; may as well get it over with. Sure enough, when they made it inside they found her in the kitchen.

“Theo, is that you?”

“Hey, mum.” He stood in the doorway. It didn’t take him long to second guess himself. All it took was one look from his mum. Maybe he should have tried to hide, after all. He must have let that feeling show, seeing as how Liam slipped a hand into his. Almost as if to say, ‘you aren’t alone’.

“Theo!” He could already hear the worry, the horror. “What happened to you?”

“Just a rough game.”

“That is _not_ from lacrosse. You’ve never come home like this before. You look like you were hit by a bus!”

“Mum, I’m fine-”

“Don’t you _dare_ lie to me, Theo.” He knew this wouldn’t be easy, but he hadn’t expected the raw anger in her voice. She’d practically growled at him. Liam edged forward a step, moving to stand between him and his mum; a shield to hide behind. It’s not that he didn’t understand, nor was it his mum he was hiding from. It was the situation itself.

“I wasn’t lying. Like I said, it was a rough game, but hey, we won.” His mouth twitched, his smile faltering as his attempt to lighten the mood fell flat.

“Congratulations, Theo. I’m happy for you. I am, but I’m still waiting for an answer.”

“It was a slight scuffle. That’s all.” 

“You were in a fight?!”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad?! Theo, look at you!” It was beginning to feel like an interrogation. “Who was it?” He spared a glance at Liam, whose grip had tightened. He didn’t miss the strained jaw, the anger in Liam’s eyes. “I asked you a question.” He shifted under her intense gaze; avoiding looking her in the eye. “It was Jackson, wasn’t it?”

“Mum-”

“I’m calling his parents.”

“No!”

“Theo, he attacked you. What if you ended up in hospital? Or worse?”

“I’m okay, Mum.”

“What if you weren’t?” She sounded broken, so helpless. It was heartbreaking to hear her like this; in all these years, he’d never once seen her so lost. What hurt the most was seeing the tears threatening to escape.

“I am, though.” It was a reassurance he knew she needed. Had it been him in her place, if she or Liam had been hurt, he would be inconsolable. The idea of losing those closest to him, those who accepted him, was more than he could handle. He winced as he was pulled into a hug; he hid the pain as best he could. His mum needed this and truth is, he did too.

When she finally let go, he watched her take a shaky breath. “I won’t say anything. _This_ time. Theo, if this happens again-”

“I know.” Going through this again sent a spike of nausea through him. He had the feeling this was only the beginning.

“I’ll get the ice pack. You rest.” 

His bed was just as welcoming as he’d imagined. It soothed his muscles, feeding off his fatigue and pulling him under. His last clear thought before sleep took hold was of Liam sitting by his side.

Watching over him.

His protector.


	13. Chapter 13

A week had passed. Then another.

The feeling of being watched finally faded. Everyone knew about the fight, whether as a witness or by word of mouth. It was only made worse by the way he’d become a walking reminder. The evidence was etched into his body for all to see. Swollen skin, lined with bruises and a split lip. It screamed of that night’s chaos.

Now, a month later, the visible signs had were almost gone. A certain discolouration lingered, though nowhere near as pronounced. It didn’t seem like much, in fact it wasn’t even the pain or discomfort that bothered him. Sure, it was nice not to flinch at the slightest movement, but he could deal with that. It was the looks, the reminder of exactly what took place that night. It was being called out in front of everyone and having nowhere to turn. He was grateful to take abreath, without wanting to run.

There was one person who wouldn’t, who _couldn’t_ give him a break. Was a little peace and quiet too much to ask? Jackson had neither forgotten nor let go of their fight. It didn’t matter where he went or what he did, Jackson was there. Watching. Turns out, Jackson meant every word of what he’d said - this wouldn’t stop before dredging up something on him. The fact there was nothing to find, did nothing to deter Jackson. Nor did it stop Matt, who as usual was by Jackson’s side.

It was a struggle to ignore the two, a battle he would have lost long ago, had he not had Liam. It took all of his strength to refrain from snapping. It went without saying he was angry. Who wouldn’t be in his situation? His role as Captain is questioned and yet _stalking_ is alright. It was just so tedious going through the same spiel, day in, day out.

Each day was worse than the last. Particularly today. He could practically _feel_ Jackson breathing down his neck.

It was a relief knowing he had P.E. next period. It was a chance to let off some steam. He needed something to take his mind off everything; he needed a distraction. Preferably a weight class. He had a sudden urge to hit something - or more accurately, _someone._

The walk there was quiet; on his part, at least. He’d tuned out Mason and Corey’s conversation, focusing instead on staying calm. Just a few more minutes and he’d have an outlet.

Why did he ever think it would be that easy? You’d think he’d have learned by now that nothing came without a price. Well. He was currently staring at the latest cost of getting his hopes up. He stood frozen in the gym’s entrance. A moment ago, the gym doors had meant freedom. They held the promise of a long overdue reprieve from the rest of the school. On the other side of those same doors, was the last thing he expected to see.

“Looks like we’re rock climbing today.” Mason made it sound like that were normal. As if it were reasonable to scale a rock wall, over a hard floor in the middle of a crowded gym.

He couldn’t tear his gaze away; it was locked on the looming structure ahead. He felt his heart drop, a pit in his stomach. The increased heart rate, the stuttering breaths, the light trembling in his arms... they were telltale signs of an oncoming panic attack.

Not now.

Now here.

He couldn’t.

Of course, Liam knew all of this. He had never been able to hide something from Liam, even if he’d wanted to. Every sign he wasn’t alright, that he needed help was on show.

“Hey, we’ll get through this.” Liam sounded so sure, so calm. If only he could believe it.

“No. No, I can’t. Liam I can’t.”

“You can.”

He couldn’t be here. He had to get out. He had to get away. He took a step back, then another. Slow but crucial. A faint call reached him but went unanswered. Mason and Corey stood partway down the gym, having only stopped after realising he and Liam weren’t following. Mason called again, unaware as to their hesitation. Unaware as to why they weren’t moving.

_Out_. It was the only word playing on his mind. _Out_. Even Liam became mute; the voice lived for, the voice he clung to out of reach. _Out. Out. Out._

“Theo!” He saw Liam’s lips moving but still no sound surfaced. There was a flicker of movement before it was lost. He ran. He ran as fast as he could; he needed to get as far away as possible. Each step left him out of breath, fighting to keep up, to keep moving. The panic attack was coming. There was no way to avoid it. If he stopped now, the school would see. The students milling around the halls would see.

Hide.

There had to be somewhere he could hide. Anywhere. He didn’t care where it was, as long as he was out of sight. _The locker room_. It was only a few steps further. He just had to make it inside and pray he was alone. 

A wave of relief washed over him, easing his panic, albeit small. It wasn’t enough to stop the panic attack though. Nothing was. He dropped to the ground, hands spread in a desperate attempt to stay upright. He practically crawled over to the wall; it was the only way he could sit. Without it, he’d have been lying on the floor, unable to get up.

It was becoming harder to breathe; the pressure in his chest worse than ever. It felt like he was being crushed by a barbell. A light airiness filled his head. It left him off balance and uneasy; he’d never experienced the feeling before. He didn’t know what to do. His vision dissolved into darkness, then cut out altogether.

The next thing he was aware of was the hard ground. Which was suddenly underneath him. When had he laid down? A tingling sensation flooded his nerves, spreading rapidly throughout his body. It was like his entire body had fallen asleep and was now in an overwhelming state of pin and needles. It had to be the most uncomfortable feeling he’d ever experienced. He’d prefer the pain from a few weeks ago over this. At least that went away. Sure it hurt, but it didn’t last. This, on the other hand - this was relentless.

He flinched at the soft touch he’d felt on his hand. The realisation he wasn’t alone was unsettling because he hadn’t heard anyone come in. 

“Theo?” He took a deep breath to steady himself before opening his eyes. Liam was crouched in front, hand on his. The blue eyes he adored, those which were usually full of light and passion, were instead drawn in concern. “Are you okay?”

“What-what happened?” He croaked. His throat felt dry; almost as if he hadn’t spoken in a long time. It was as if he’d been asleep.

“I think you passed out.”

He blinked. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be- he fainted. He actually fainted. This just keeps getting better. “Why?” It sounded desperate, a plea. He needed answers.

“My guess is your panic attack. You weren’t getting enough air.” There wasn’t a hint of judgement in Liam’s words or voice, however, he felt ashamed enough for the both of them. This was ridiculous. He was eighteen, for goodness’ sake. He shouldn’t faint at all, let alone at the sight of a rock-climbing wall.

“Great. Just what I need. Another way to embarrass myself.” The tingling finally ceased. It was about time. He managed to sit up with a little help. Dizzy or not, he was _so_ not ready to address the need for help with such a basic task.

“Theo-” That wasn’t Liam. The voice was too deep to be Liam. Someone else was here. He turned his head to see and squeaked, that’s right, _squeaked._ Mason. He was staring at Mason.

“You brought Mason?!”

“Theo, you ran out of class. We were worried. I didn’t know this would happen.” Liam tried to explain, but as logical as it was, it didn’t change the fact both Mason and Liam had seen him. What was next? Corey?

Oh, no. 

“Please tell me Corey isn’t here.” Liam and Mason shared a glance, which told him everything. “Why not bring the entire class while you’re at it?” He groaned. He had never wanted a year to end as much as he had this one. It was one thing after another and he didn’t know how much more he could take.

“Corey’s outside, Theo. He hasn’t seen you, I promise. He’s watching the door, so no one comes in.” He could hear the regret. He knew Liam didn’t mean for it to turn out this way. No one could have known.

Mason appeared more confused than ever. Mason wasn’t exactly privy to the reasons for his abrupt exit, so it was only fair to assume it would leave Mason confused.

“I guess you’re wondering what that was all about.” He offered a weak smile, trying for playful but falling short. It turned into a weary sigh; constantly finding ways around people learning the truth was draining. Well. Clearly the truth wanted to be known. Maybe it was time to stop fighting and just accept it. It would be easier. “You better call Corey in because I’m only saying this once.”

“Theo. You don’t have to-” He cut off Liam’s protest before he could change his mind.

“It’s okay, Liam. I can’t keep pretending I’m okay, when I’m not. It’s becoming harder to hide, to keep up the act I put on. I can’t do it anymore. I just want it over with.” Liam held his hand tighter, a simple nod in understanding. Once Mason had looped Corey in, the two sitting patiently, he took a deep breath. That was a regular occurrence lately. “So. I may have a slight problem with heights.” 

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting.

Maybe further questions or teasing. Whatever it was, it wasn’t this. He knew neither would judge nor hold it against him, however; he wasn’t prepared for Corey’s constrictive hug. In fact, it was a little too constrictive. “Corey, while I appreciate the support, you’re squishing me.” He wheezed.

Corey pulled back with a shy smile, but it quickly morphed into a frown. “You know you could have told us, right?”

“I know.”

“How long?” Mason asked carefully.

“For as long as I can remember.” That resulted in two equally wide stares.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Corey asked incredulously.

“I wasn’t exactly proud of the fact. I didn’t want to admit to being scared of something so common.”

“You need to learn you don’t have to be perfect. You’re human. Would you have an issue if it were us?”

“Of course not, Corey!” How could he hold that against them? Against anyone? He wasn’t about to be a hypocrite for one, nor was he a judgemental person. Why should someone be made to feel bad for who they are? No matter what the aspect, everyone is who they are and there is nothing wrong with that.

“Then what makes you so different? Why do you deserve to be treated differently?” Corey had a way of playing mind games. Reverse psychology was by far Corey’s preferred method. 

“What am I supposed to do? Coach will expect me to climb like everyone else.”

“I have an idea but you won’t like it.” Liam was looking at him with what appeared to be an apology. That couldn’t be good. Why was Liam apologising when he hadn’t said anything yet?

“What?”

“Coach wouldn’t make you if he knew.”

No. No, Liam couldn’t- Liam couldn’t mean... “You want to _tell_ Coach?”

“I don’t see another way.”

Of all the people he’d thought about, he’d never even considered Coach. Why would he? It had to come down to this. Every time.

“Okay. Let’s get this over with.” He wasn’t alone. He repeated the mantra as they made their way to the Coach’s office. It was the only thing keeping him sane. By the time they arrived, he was a trembling mess. This could go either way. On one hand, everyone knew Coach cared. That couldn’t be denied. On the other hand, that meant higher expectations and no excuses would be accepted. Telling Coach he was scared? Let’s just say, it wasn’t his first choice. 

The problem was, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get the words out. In the end, Liam had to explain for him. He sat there, tearing through every response to cross his mind.

“Theo.” He met the Coach’s eyes nervously. “I can’t help if people don’t come to me. I’m glad you did. Besides, so wouldn’t want you to fall. You can sit this one out.”

“Thank you, Coach.” 

This had to be the end, right? Surely, he’d been through enough. This had to be as bad as it could get. What else could go wrong?

Unfortunately, this was only the beginning. What came next was by far worse than he could have ever imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y’all enjoyed the latest chapter. 😁
> 
> Thank you all for reading and for your comments and likes. Sadly, ‘A Tall Order’ is coming to an end. I have two more chapters planned to wrap up the story, so here it goes. 😄


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains two points of view: the first being Theo and the second, Josh.
> 
> It begins with Theo’s POV, then changes to Josh‘s when you see the first set of ****. The second set of **** is indicative of a scene change whilst still told by Josh.
> 
> I hope y’all enjoy. 😊

“Theo.”  
Couldn’t he have one moment of peace? Is that too much to ask? He’d been on his way to lunch when he heard his name. There was no doubt who it belonged to. “What do you want, Matt?” He didn’t bother looking over, instead choosing to continue walking. He wasn’t about to waste his time on whatever Matt was about to say.  
“Jackson wants to see you.”  
“Yeah, well, tell him I’m not interested.”  
“It wasn’t a request.”  
“Still not interested. I don’t answer to Jackson and I couldn’t care less if you have a problem with that.” Whatever Jackson wanted, it couldn’t be good. He wasn’t willing to subject himself to being in the same room as them, let alone talk.  
“We have Josh.”   
That’s when he stopped. He really shouldn’t be surprised. They would do anything to get their way, regardless of who it hurt. “Where is he?” He was well aware he was growling, but he wasn’t in the mood for games.  
“In the gym.” The second Matt finished, he’d stormed off. Why couldn’t they leave everyone alone? It was as if they didn’t know the meaning of the concept. By the time he pushed the gym doors open, he found it empty except for one sole occupant. Standing in the centre of the room was Jackson, facing away from him. Though he couldn’t see Jackson’s face, he knew the other boy was smiling. After all, he was here.

That’s just it, though. The only people here were the three of them. Josh was nowhere to be seen. He could feel the hair on his neck standing on end. Something wasn’t right. “Where’s Josh?”

“I have no idea.” Jackson was the picture of innocence; a facade which made him sick.  
“Drop the act. I’m not in the mood. Where is he?”  
“I already told you. I don’t know.” He had never wanted to wipe that smug smirk off Jackson’s face, more than he did right now. He had a feeling he should have figured it out by now; as though it was obvious. Why call him here under false pretenses? That’s when it clicked.  
“You used Josh to lure me here.”  
The grin only grew wider; almost humourous, as if this was a game. A game which he just lost.  
“I can’t believe how easy it was.” He bit back his anger at Matt’s laughter behind him. “You’re so predictable. All we had to do was cry ‘damsel in distress’ and you ran to help. Like the hero you are.”

“Whatever this is, I’m not about to stay and find out.”  
“I just want to talk.”  
“I didn’t come to hear you whine about how life’s unfair.” He spun on his heel to leave, making it all of four steps before being wrenched backwards. He winced at the sharp, stabbing pain through radiating through his shoulder in protest. Matt held him in place, his gaze now trained on Jackson with no way of moving. “Get off me!” It quickly became apparent that any struggle resulted in a spiral of pain, what with Matt forcing his arm backwards unnaturally. If it continued, the bone would snap. Reluctantly, he stopped resisting.

Meanwhile, Jackson was now standing directly in front of him. “We know about your fear of heights.”  
He froze. This was just his luck. Hadn’t he been through enough? You’d think his friends and Liam knowing, let alone Coach, would be cause for relief. What else could go wrong, right? Clearly the universe thought it would be funny to let the two people, who wanted to make his life a living hell, in on the secret.  
A soft breath of air brushed his ear; the words which followed striking a cord despite their whispered form. “What do you say we tell Liam? I’m sure he’d love to know.”  
“Nice try, Matt. That might have worked once, but you’re too late. Liam already knows.” There was such a thing as self-respect. “I _won’t_ be blackmailed.”  
“Who said anything about blackmail?” One hand. That’s all he needed. If he could just free one hand, he could show Jackson how little he believed this ridiculous spiel.

“You want to tell everyone? You want to reveal the person I really am? Go ahead! I’m _done_ running. I’m done lying. Do what you want.”  
“Oh, I plan to. Unfortunately, talking isn’t what I had in mind. No. I think I’ll have some fun of my own.”  
Does he really have to deal with cryptic riddles now? Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good if Jackson thought it would be fun. “Meaning what, exactly?” Jackson merely smiled. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t creep him out. “Hey!” Without warning, Matt shoved him forward. Towards the rock-climbing wall.  
No. No, they wouldn’t. “Jackson. Jackson, please.”

His pleas fell on deaf ears. The rock wall loomed ever closer, daunting in its towering facade. A wave of nausea crashed into him. His heart dropped.  
“I see you’ve figured out why we’re here.” He heard nothing but pure amusement; amusement at his expense.  
“Let go. Jackson, don’t-” He couldn’t breathe, the harness cutting off any further protest. It was suffocating, choking by its mere presence. It was almost like being underwater; his head swum with anxiety, growing by the second. This was it. Jackson and Matt would see him at his lowest. Knowing them, they’d probably record it for the entire school to see.

****

He couldn’t explain why. There was no particular reason, nothing to understand. It was just a feeling, one he couldn’t shake. Since class ended, he was overcome by the sense something was wrong. For some reason, that same sense had led him to the gym.  
That realisation left him with a deeper uneasiness than before. Why would he have come here? The gym was empty, wasn’t it? Everyone should be on lunch. That’s where he was wrong.

What he saw through the wide doors left him frozen. There, on the other side of the room, was Theo. The problem was, he wasn’t alone. Matt and Jackson were crowding him, standing by as Theo stood tied to the rock-climbing wall. Worse than that, Theo’s fear was clear as day. He had no idea what they were planning to do, but it couldn’t be good. It never was with those two. Especially seeing how worked up Theo was. That wasn’t an easy feat.

He had to do something. He had to help Theo, but how? He couldn’t just walk in and free Theo. Not alone. Not against the two of them. There was no way he’d leave Theo like this, not after everything Theo had done for him. Theo had saved him; he wasn’t about to leave Theo in his time of need. He needed help.  
Liam.  
He had to find Liam.

****

“I can’t believe you asked her.” Corey shook his head at Mason, who was clearly unimpressed.  
“You told me to.”  
“I didn’t think you would.”  
“Why wouldn’t I-”  
“Hey.” Liam’s concern was unmissable, its presence seeping through his voice. “Have either of you seen Theo?”  
Mason and Corey exchanged a glance before speaking. “No.”  
“He should have been here by now.”   
“Maybe he’s in the library? Doesn’t Theo have a test coming up?”  
“I don’t know. We were supposed to study at my house tonight. Why would he change the plan without letting me know?” Liam didn’t like it. It was like they were missing something. “It feels off.”  
Corey was about to respond when he was cut off without warning.  
“Liam!” He watched as all three turned to stare at him, confusion etched into their features. He came to a halt beside their table, chest heaving as he attempted to get the words out. What came out was a jumbled, inaudible onslaught of sounds. “You- you ha- have to - to- come. Now.”  
“What? Why?”  
“It’s - You- No time-”  
“Josh. You need to calm down.” He could hear the panic seeping into Liam’s voice, already on alert. “Take a breath.”  
Maybe Liam was right. How could he help anyone if he couldn’t finish a single sentence? Once he’d taken a moment to compose himself, he tried again. “Okay.”  
“Right, now tell me what happened.”  
“It’s Theo.”  
Liam’s eyes widened further than he’d have thought possible. “Where is he?”  
“The gym. Jackson and Matt have him tied up.” All he saw was a flash of anger. In the blink of an eye, the seat in front of him was empty.  
“Liam, wait!” Mason called out, rushing to follow, trailed closely by both Corey and himself. There was no stopping Liam, not in this state. It was like watching a lit fuse, eyes fixed on its rapid path. Waiting for the inevitable collision. “Josh, keep an eye on Liam. Corey and I will get Coach.”

“What?!” It was little more than a high-pitched squeak.  
“We’ll be right back!” With that, he was alone again. Not only that, but he had the added responsibility of watching Liam. _Liam_. It was like leaving a child in charge of the house.  
In other words - an extremely bad idea.

“Liam, wait!”  
“I’m done, Josh. I’ve had enough. It’s time someone put a stop to Jackson’s bullying, once and for all.”  
“I get it, I do, but you need to slow down. Think about this.”  
“Oh trust me, I have.” If anything, Liam took off faster than before. “We don’t have time to stop. Who knows what those arrogant, self-centred asses are planning to do.”  
There was no reasoning with Liam, not now. Not when Theo was in trouble. That was the only thought which mattered. He understood, he did. He just hoped they weren’t about to make it worse. The force at which Liam pushed the doors open, sent them crashing into the walls on either side. He barely made it through before the doors slammed back with equal force.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Liam’s screech echoed through the wide expanse. Theo hadn’t moved. It was a harrowing sight; Theo appeared close to hyperventilating, despite the effort to calm down. He couldn’t miss the tightly closed eyes, the clenched jaw. It was clear Theo was trying not to cry, not to give Jackson the satisfaction. A plea filled those green eyes as soon as Theo saw them. A silent plea to make it stop. He would like to say he held his ground when Jackson turned to face them. If only he could. Truth was, he flinched and took a step back.  
“Come to rescue your boyfriend? I’m afraid you’re out of luck.”  
“If you don’t let Theo go _right now_ , I’ll knock your teeth out.”

This wasn’t getting them anywhere. There had to be a way to de-escalate the mounting tension. “Can’t we just-”  
Jackson’s sneer was positively vicious. “Who said you could talk? Did you _actually_ think you could help? That you could be of use? Give it a rest.”  
Hearing his thoughts voiced out loud hurt; not that he had long to think about it though. His eyes widened (comically so), as he stood stock still. An audible thud shattered what little hope was left of a peaceful resolution. Then again, had there been any to start? Probably not.  
Liam hit Jackson.  
Liam actually hit Jackson; a solid punch to the side of the face. A welt had already surfaced, unforgiving in its presence; jagged bruises left from Liam’s knuckles. He was at a loss for words. I mean, what could he say after that? It didn’t seem to matter though, seeing as Liam hadn’t finished. “ _Don’t_ talk to Josh like that. You treat everyone like crap and I’ve _had_ it. Josh is stronger and kinder than you’ve been in your entire life.”  
Jackson was seeing red. He had never seen the boy so angry before. There was no way to know what Jackson would do, and that alone was terrifying. “You want a fight? Fine. Have at it. You win, I let Theo go.”  
Liam didn’t need to be told twice, nor was an invitation required. It was clear by Liam’s stance and demeanour alone that a fight had been brewing. One that had started in the cafeteria the second Liam heard Theo was in trouble.  
He should intervene. He should break it up before it went any further, right? If only his legs didn’t feel like someone had filled them with cement. He couldn’t move, paralysed by doubt. No matter how many times he told himself to step forward, to put an end to this, his body wouldn’t respond. It was also why he failed to notice Matt sneaking up behind him.

A hand snaked around his mouth, leaving him with no way of warning Liam as he was dragged backwards. Apparently his body decided now was the time to start working, his fight-or-flight response belatedly taking hold. The grip was too strong, he couldn’t break free nor could Theo who was straining to loosen his restraints.  
They could do nothing more than watch as Liam lunged forward, fist raised to strike Jackson again. It was a solid punch; at least it would have been, had it not missed. Jackson’s dodge switched from defensive to calculated in an instant. An unexpected kick pushed Liam’s legs out from under him; the result was a loud crash as Liam fell. The next moment, Jackson was standing over Liam. Just like that, it was over.  
At the start, he honestly expected it to end with Liam in the spotlight for attacking Jackson. Not once did he think Liam would lose. Yet here they were, tied up and at Jackson’s mercy.  
Jackson, who was now looking at Liam like a predator facing prey. Jackson, who landed a clean hit to Liam’s stomach; a blow which left Liam groaning.  
“Liam!” Theo’s voice cracked, tears rolling down his cheeks. An unmistakable anger flared up, as strong as the panic threatening to overwhelm Theo any moment now.

“You two think you’re all that. You think you’re the golden boys but guess what, you’re not.” A slow, sinister grin rose; Jackson was really starting to creep him out. If he wasn’t concerned before, he definitely was now. “I _was_ going to leave Theo here but now, now I think I’ll teach you both a lesson.”  
“What are you planning to do? Bore us to death?” Liam was rewarded with another hit, this one harder than the last. It did little to make Liam stop though. If anything, it only spurred Liam on. “You’re never going to win.”  
“Don’t you get it? I already have. You’re exactly where I want you and there’s nothing either of you can do about it.”  
“Hit me all you like. It won’t change anything.”  
“Oh, I’m not going to hit you. I have a better idea.” With that, Jackson walked away.   
Towards the rock wall.  
Towards Theo.

Liam’s scream ripped through the gym. He felt his heart lodge in his throat; a suffocating weight effectively silencing him. He couldn’t speak, he could hardly breathe. All he could do was watch in horror, with the sound of Liam’s pleas ringing in his ears, as Jackson continuously struck Theo.  
It was endless, ruthless and unhindered.  
Each blow, each attack came swiftly. There was no break, no time to breathe. Theo moaned in pain, hunched over as far as the restraints allowed. No where was off limits. Theo’s stomach had to be riddled with bruises by this point, Theo hissing as yet another fist collided with the side of his face.  
Liam was in tears, pleas mixed with choked sobs. “Jackson! Stop! _Please!_ Just stop!”  
Nothing. There was no response at all.  
No answer. No flicker of movement. No delay.  
It was almost as if the plea had gone unheard.

Theo cries changed to a bloodcurdling scream. It was accompanied by the sound of bones breaking. He counted five so far, but he couldn’t by sure. There were likely more which had been drowned out by Theo’s cries.

Suddenly a crash sounded from behind them. The restraints prevented him from seeing the cause, though it soon made itself known.  
“What the _hell_ is going on here?!” Coach. A slight sense of relief arose, despite not being out of trouble yet. They finally had help. It also succeeded in bringing Jackson’s assault to an end. Watching Coach storm over was like watching a raging bull run loose through the school. “Whittemore I am so done with your crap! Get away from Theo!”  
Without hesitation, practically a reflex, Jackson stepped back. Even Jackson wasn’t stupid; you don’t mess with a Coach on a good day. Doing anything but exactly as you were told with a downright livid Coach, was a death wish. Frantically, Coach untied Theo; he’d barely registered Mason and Corey doing the same for him and Liam. He’d been so focused on Theo, he’d almost missed their presence entirely.  
The moment they were free, Liam ran forward catching Theo who collapsed. It was a frightening sight; Theo on the floor, unconscious. If he didn’t know better, if he couldn’t see the small rises of Theo’s chest, he’d have said lifeless. As it was, Theo was in bad shape. Bruises covered all visible skin, ranging from deep purple to black. There was no doubt more were hidden underneath clothing. Theo’s cheek had caved in, the bone having shattered near the start.

Worst of all, was Theo’s breathing. Despite seeing clear signs he was, in fact, still breathing, each breath was shallow. Each one felt forced, each one showing greater strain.  
“Hewitt. Bryant. Tell Principal Martin she’s needed. Now!” Phone in hand, Coach dialled 9-1-1. “Ambulance. Beacon Hills High School. A student has been assaulted.” Not once did Coach let Jackson and Matt out of his sight; they weren’t going anywhere.

Liam just sat motionless, staring at Theo. Liam’s hand never left Theo’s arm, his head never leaving his chest. “It’ll be okay, Theo. You’re going to be okay.” It was a mantra, repeated incessantly. It was more a promise for Liam, the fading hope of a desperate man. A man who was afraid to lose the one he loved most. Seeing Theo like this had broken a piece of Liam; a piece which might never mend.  
Sirens rose in the background, preceding the ensuing commotion. Principal Martin ran in, followed closely by two paramedics. Principal Martin virtually had to pry Liam off Theo, in order for the Paramedics to work. He didn’t understand most of what was said, overwhelmed by a sense of disbelief.  
Before he knew it, they were wheeling Theo out on a stretcher. Liam followed, fully prepared to go with them. Nothing Principal Martin said made a difference, Liam’s decision was resolute. In the end, it was the simple, matter-of-fact ‘I’m going’ which made her agree. Well, that and she could see how worked up Liam was. Making him stay wasn’t going to help anyone.  
Both climbed into the ambulance; Principal Martin calling both boy’s parents, Liam remained as silent as before.

They were in for a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank y’all for reading. Thank you for the comments and likes; they are greatly appreciated. 🥰
> 
> I apologise for the slight delay in uploading this latest chapter. It took me a little longer than usual to pull it all together. The good news is in the process, I decided to extend it by a chapter. There will now be 16 chapters in total instead of 15. 😄
> 
> I hope y’all are enjoying the story so far. I know this chapter contained a lot of angst compared to others, but please, bare with me. 😁
> 
> Hopefully the next chapter won’t take as long to write. 🤞 😂


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is written from Liam’s POV. It felt right to see the impact from a different viewpoint, to explore the effect this whole situation has had on Liam as well as Theo.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it. 😁

He was a mess.

That was the simplest and only way to explain it. He was standing in the waiting room of Beacon Hills Memorial’s emergency department. He had been here for what felt like an eternity and there was still no news. Theo had been rushed through to a room, trailed by a team of doctors. They had basically pried him off Theo; he wanted to go with them, to see what was happening.  
Instead, here he was waiting. Waiting with nothing to go on. They wouldn’t tell him anything; all he knew was Theo ‘was being looked after’ and ‘a doctor would explain as soon as they knew’. The waiting was killing him. He had never been patient at the best of times, so this... this was torture. The echo of Theo’s scream, the agonising howl that followed every broken bone, ingrained in his memory.  
It wouldn’t go away.  
It wouldn’t fade.

If anything, it was stronger and louder than ever. The longer he stood here, the more his panic fed the sound. Everything else felt muted in comparison.  
It was for that reason, he watched in unaffected silence as his mum and Mrs Raeken pushed through the front doors. It was like watching a blurry film; the sound distorted almost beyond recognition.  
He could only blink as his mum stopped in front of him, her hands clasped around his own. He heard her calling his name, heard the concern in her voice, but he couldn’t find it in himself to respond. Nothing mattered at that moment except seeing Theo.  
Mrs Raeken ran straight to the Nurses’ desk, with a slew of questions. It was a mix of broken sobs, words thrown in between and tears. The poor nurse could hardly keep up, let alone know where to start. “Where’s my son?! Where’s Theo?!”  
“He’s in with the doctors now. They’ll be out as soon as they can.” Nurse Reyes, (he’d glimpsed her name tag), had a sympathetic look, her voice soft. She must have dealt with hundreds of distraught families by now; he could see by that look alone she cared, that she wished she could tell them more.

“Mrs Raeken?” He’d forgotten Principal Martin was here. There was a note of caution in her voice. It wasn’t surprising though, given the situation. Theo was, after all, in hospital after being attacked at school.  
“What happened?”  
He tuned out Principal Martin’s answer; he didn’t want to listen to it again. It had been bad enough hearing it in the ambulance. The constant ringing, the incessant drone of Theo’s screams... he couldn’t take it anymore. It was too much. Mrs Raeken’s distress only seemed to amplify it; her cries, the shouted ‘how could you let this happen?!’. The screams took on a deafening edge; he could feel his breath thinning, his vision blurred.  
Make it stop. Make it stop! He pressed both hands firmly against either side of his head, desperately begging it to stop.  
“Liam. Liam, look at me.”  
His mum. She sounded so far away and yet so close at the same time. She was still holding him, now gripping his shoulders. She lifted his head slowly, eyes meeting his in concern. It seemed to snap something within him, the last thread holding him together lost. “Mum.” It was shaky at best. His knees gave out, his body collapsing under the weight, into his mum’s arms.  
“I’m here. Are you okay? Are you hurt?”  
“No. No, it’s Theo. It was horrible.”  
“I know. I know.” He clung to her voice, to the soothing tone.  
“Mrs Raeken?” He swallowed, meeting the tearful gaze of Theo’s mum. “I’m so sorry. I tried to stop it, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t get to him.”  
“Liam, this is not your fault. There’s only one person to blame, and it certainly isn’t you.”  
“Jackson-”  
“This is the last time that boy will lay a hand on Theo. It’s the last time he’ll come anywhere near the two of you.” It was fierce, determined. There was no doubt in his mind Mrs Raeken meant every word.

The hug that followed was comforting; to be embraced by Theo’s mum despite everything was what he needed. To know she didn’t blame him, like he blamed himself, was a huge relief. He had people to lean on for as long as he needed to.  
He wasn’t alone.

Time ticked by slowly; it felt like they’d been here all day. They’d been sitting there for almost an hour before learning Theo needed surgery.  
Surgery. _Surgery_.  
What if something went wrong? What if they couldn’t fix the problem? He refused to go outside, no matter how many times his mum tried. He didn’t need a walk; he didn’t need a break; stressed or not, he wasn’t about to risk missing Theo’s doctors. If one came and he wasn’t there, he’d never forgive himself. Rest could wait.  
It wasn’t until nearly four hours later that the doctor returned. He was ready to snap from the stress.  
“Mrs Raeken?” A tall man with glasses stood at the entrance to the ward.  
“Yes?”  
He didn’t move, watching on with bated breath. He’d been waiting for so long to hear something, _anything_. Any news had seemed better than no news. If only he weren’t so afraid.

”We were able to stabilise your son. Theo sustained three broken bones in his ribs; one of which was pressing against his lung. It was preventing air flow and causing his difficulty breathing. After repairing the break, Theo’s breathing has improved. He also broke his right cheekbone and arm. We had to use a plate and screws to hold the cheekbone in place. There is extensive bruising, and he has a swollen eye, but I must say, your son is very lucky. It could have been far worse, had the bone punctured his lung.”  
The atmosphere in the room relaxed instantly. Knowing Theo was safe, that he was okay, was such a relief. It didn’t however, diminish the severity of Theo’s injuries. His mum squeezed his hand, trying to comfort him. He appreciated it, but there was only one way he would feel truly at ease, and that was to see Theo back on his feet.  
Mrs Raeken felt the same way, given the fact her voice wavered when she spoke. “Can we go in?”  
“He’s sedated at the moment; he won’t wake up for a while, but you’re welcome to come through. It would be best to limit visitors to two people at a time.”

It went without saying that he and Mrs Raeken were the first to go in. They needed to see Theo the most, to put their nerves to rest. Now, you could say they had known what to expect; they had, after all, heard the extent of Theo’s injuries. The truth was, nothing could have prepared them for the sight that awaited them. Seeing Theo lying in the hospital bed, tubes attached to his once unblemished skin, was painful.  
Theo’s skin was mottled with bruises. There wasn’t a trace of visible skin left untouched. Theo’s left eye was swollen shut, his arm in a sling. His next steps were automatic, somewhat robotic. It was like watching the actions of another person. This didn’t feel right; it didn’t feel real.  
“Theo.” His voice cracked, surfacing as a broken sob. Gently, he wrapped his hand around Theo’s, (the one which wasn’t covered in tubes). He felt like he couldn’t breathe and yet, he didn’t falter. He just sat there, waiting for Theo to wake up.  
Mrs Raeken mirrored his position on the other side of the bed; neither one of them could bear to move even an inch. At a certain point, it became too much for Theo’s mum, who stood to leave. She needed a moment, that’s what she’d said. He understood, but it was a distant recognition.

The day continued; nurses and doctors came and went, his mum encouraged him to take a break, Mrs Raeken alternated her visits. He, on the other hand, never moved. He didn’t speak, didn’t stir. He just sat there.  
Finally, he saw movement. He felt Theo’s hand twitch within his own. Relief flooded his body, overwhelming in its intensity. He took a deep breath as Theo slowly came to, in what begun with slow movements and progressed to gradual awareness. It came to a head as Theo opened his eyes.  
“I’m here. You’re okay.”  
Theo just smiled and let his eyes drift close once more. The next time Theo graced him with a smile, Mrs Raeken was in the room. She cried, clinging tighter to her son. When Theo spoke, it was soft and strained, but it was still the best thing he’d ever heard. “Hey.”  
He couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. He laughed lightly, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Hey.”  
“Mum.”  
“Theo.” Mrs Raeken choked out.

“Li- you’re so pretty.” They started laughing. It was so unexpected. “You’re my hummingbird. My dolphin.”  
Okay, this was getting strange.  
“Are you alright?”  
“ _Hummingbird, oh hummingbird. My dear, sweet hummingbird._ ” Theo was singing. In front of them. Not only that, but Theo was giggling. _Giggling_.  
“ _Fly with me my hummingbird_.”  
The anaesthesia must not have worn off yet, not completely. Theo was high, the medication having removed any and all inhibitions. It was amusing, welcome even. This would all be over soon. They could go back to normal.

The next hour passed with a wave of happiness, a silent prayer of gratitude. He finally gave into his mum’s insistence to take a walk. Some fresh air sounded good, now that he could actually enjoy it.  
He had Theo back.  
“I thought I’d lost him.” He leant in as his mum pulled him closer. For the first time all day, he could finally breathe.

When he returned, he was met by a coherent Theo. The pain medication was clearly still active; the droopy eyes and sunken posture were dead giveaways. In saying that, he could see the light of recognition as he walked into the room. The small smile, the happy “Liam.”  
Theo was aware.  
“Hey.”

“I meant what I said.” Mrs Raeken stood up. There was a look of pure determination in her eye. One which, if he were honest, scared him sometimes. She wasn’t someone you wanted to mess with. “I told you last time, I wouldn’t stand by. This ends today.”  
“Mum-”  
“I won’t do this again, Theo. I just won’t.” With that, she walked out, leaving them alone. He couldn’t have been more confused. Theo just sighed.  
“What was that about?”  
“Apparently mum called the police.”

So, that’s where she’d been. Every time she’d left the room. He’d just thought she needed some time, when really she must have been giving a statement.  
When had she called?  
It had to be when they were waiting for news. If he had to guess, he’d say after Theo went in for surgery. Thinking back on it, Mrs Raeken had seemed different. The initial shock, the distress appeared to have been put on hold. It seemed to have been replaced by pure anger, pure determination; a similar determination to what he just witnessed. In hindsight, he should have known. Mrs Raeken had specifically told him it was the last time Jackson would hurt Theo.  
“Good.”

“Good? How is this good?”  
“Theo, we can’t let this continue. This was worse than last time. What happens the next time Jackson snaps? He won’t stop unless we make him.”  
“You sound just like my mum.” Theo sighed again.  
“That’s because she’s right.”  
“Liam-”  
“He could have _killed_ you! He nearly did!” He had to stop to take a deep breath. He could feel himself becoming overwhelmed. “Theo, I nearly lost you. I couldn’t do anything to help. It’s not only you Jackson hurt. I had to _watch_ every second of it. I can still hear your screams. I can still see the fear in your eyes. I can’t go through that again. I can’t watch Jackson hurt you. I can’t risk losing you. Not again.”

For a while, there was silence. That’s when he noticed Theo crying. “I’m sorry.”  
He took a step forward to sit on the bed. Resting a hand on Theo’s shoulder, he wiped away the tear streaks. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”  
“It’s just-” Theo hissed as he shifted to sit upright, clutching at his ribs. “I just want to get past this. I want to finish school; I want to spend time with you, with Corey and Mason. All I want is to be left in peace for once.”  
Hearing Theo’s voice crack on the word ‘peace’, was the hardest part. He wanted nothing more than to give Theo that; it was such a simple request. He would find a way, if it was the last thing he did. Theo deserved to be happy. “I understand.”  
“I just wish the fighting would stop.”  
The resignation in Theo’s voice broke him. He wanted nothing more than for Theo to feel better; to be happy without being pulled down, without the constant attacks by a self-entitled, bitter man. “Don’t worry. After this, we’ll never have to worry about Jackson again.”

For the next couple of hours, they stayed that way. In each other’s arms. It was as much for comfort as it was for reassurance that this was in fact real. That they were both okay.

There was no chance in hell he’d allow Jackson to walk away unscathed, not after what he’d done. It was time someone turned the tables. When he left the hospital that night, it was with one thought in mind.

He had a statement to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are. One chapter to go.
> 
> Thank you all for reading this far and I’m glad you liked it. 😁


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The final chapter.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it.

Recovery was anything but ideal.  
He spent the first week in hospital. The doctors wanted to monitor his progress, to make sure everything was continuing as intended. Initially, it had hurt to breathe; his lungs strained from the pressure of his bone. At the end of the week, he’d had his stitches removed and was released a few hours later.  
Granted, he was confined to bedrest. It took another week before he could see properly; his eye finally opening unhindered. It was 6 weeks for his cheekbone and arm to heal, two weeks longer for his ribs. The bruising had yet to fade entirely. The bruising had reduced greatly to what it once was, but still served as an obvious reminder.

He wasn’t even allowed to go to school for the first 6 weeks. Who’d have thought he’d miss classes so much? Even when he did go back, his Mum constantly reminded him to take it easy. It’s not that he didn’t understand the sentiment; it was all too easy to knock his ribs or potentially injure himself further, if he wasn’t careful. He just wanted to get back to normal.  
The worst part had been the inability to play lacrosse. He hadn’t missed a game or practice in the six years he’d been playing. Now, here he was, benched for the better part of the season.  
It was his life. It meant the world to him, and it was taken away. The one positive about the situation was that Coach was itching to get him back as much as he was. He was under strict instructions to rest and build his strength, so he could join the team for the finals.  
He had every intention of making it. There was no way he was missing the last matches of his senior year.

The best part of his recovery, on the other hand, was Liam. Not a moment went by that Liam wasn’t around.  
Okay, maybe not literally. For the most part, though, it was true. Every chance Liam had, every time Liam was free, you could always find them in the same place. Waiting for Liam to finish school in the beginning felt like an eternity. They hung out and studied together. Liam kept him company, kept him sane. They’d even convinced their parents to let Liam sleepover on weekends, provided their homework was completed. Weeknights were a different story; they had reached a compromise of Tuesdays and Thursdays.  
Even when Liam wasn’t there, they would be on the phone until late. It drove their parents a little crazy, but neither could find the desire to change the arrangement. Nor did their parents have the heart to put an end to it. They all knew how much he and Liam needed one another right now.

To everyone’s astonishment, Liam had even convinced him to try ‘Silver Bullet’. Mason had nearly had a heart attack when he’d heard. The next words were nothing short of a screech, making him cringe. The stunned ‘Theo did what?!’ He almost laughed at how shocked Mason was.  
He must admit, it surprised him as well. His agreement was borne out of pure boredom. There was, after all, only so much one could do from their bed. If that hadn’t been enough, he’d found he didn’t quite mind the game. He wouldn’t go as far as to say he loved it, but it was a decent way to pass the time. Surprisingly, it didn’t have the same generic plot all games used. It didn’t feel recycled or used; rather, it felt inspired. It had an interesting storyline, with cut scenes he couldn’t look away from. The objectives...  
Okay, so _maybe_ he did love the game. Sue him. Besides, it’s not like he was about to play all video games. ‘Silver Bullet’ was a one-off.

Liam was currently lying next to him, an arm wrapped over his chest. They didn’t feel like doing anything; instead they just laid together in comfortable silence. It was in times like these, he realised, how much had changed. In the course of a semester, he’d made new friends, had a boyfriend, and his fear of heights had come to light. Not to mention the outcome of Jackson’s assault.  
His mum was nothing if not true to her word. Neither he nor Liam had seen Jackson since that day. Turns out the school had been unwilling to look the other way and had made a compelling case for the Police. Not only was Jackson expelled, but he was arrested the same night.  
As if reading his mind, Liam spoke. “I wish I could have seen the look on Jackson’s face when the police turned up.”  
It was something to think about. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for Jackson’s father, though. Learning your son had done such a thing, couldn’t have been easy. Nor could it have been easy to watch your son be taken away in handcuffs.

As far as he knew, Jackson was still awaiting a sentence. It had to be hard watching on as a parent.  
“Theo?” He blinked; once, twice. Liam was staring at him, eyes laced with concern. “Are you okay?” Looks like he’d been quiet longer than he’d realised.  
“Yeah, I’m fine. I don’t want to think about it. Can we talk about something else?”  
A sigh escaped him when Liam pressed closer. They fell back into the comfortable silence, seamlessly. Neither felt the need to put it into words. Neither felt the need to voice their acceptance, their contentment. It was like that, that they both fell asleep.

It wasn’t until the two-month mark that he was finally given the all clear. Finally, Dr. Deaton had signed off on lacrosse. This was the news he’d been waiting for since day one, and now he was here, he thought he might pass out from sheer excitement.  
He couldn’t wait to tell Liam. Unfortunately, Liam hadn’t been able to attend the appointment with him. Jenna had needed help, and he hadn’t wanted to impose. No matter how much he missed Liam’s presence. Unusual as it was for them to be apart, he wasn’t about to expect Liam to drop everything.  
He had to laugh when his mum drove straight to Liam’s. Everyone knew what he was thinking. It no longer needed to be voiced, rather it was simply expected.

“Theo? How did it-?” Liam had barely opened the door when he leapt forward, in what was more likely defined as tackling than a hug.  
“He said yes! Dr. Deaton said yes!”  
“Finally! Just wait until Coach hears. I can see the parade now.” Liam lifted him with ease, their laughter filling the house. Their parents were beside themselves with amusement. In this moment, he was the happiest he’d been in a long time.  
“You’re hilarious.” He snorted.  
“I’m serious.”  
“You really think Coach would do something so out there? This is _Coach_ , we’re talking about.”  
“The same Coach who hasn’t stopped lamenting your absence. The comments, the pouting... not to mention the fact he compares everyone to you.”  
“He does?” That was more than a little surprising.

“Apparently, no one meets your standards; you could, and I quote, ‘do better in your sleep’.” Was this real? “Well. Except for me.”  
“Is that so? Confident much?”  
“You know as well as I do, I can outrun you any day.”  
“In your dreams, Dunbar.”  
“Remind me. Who scored from the opposite end of the field?”  
“Lucky shot.”  
The laughter was contagious. Liam threw his head back, clutching his sides; all the while fighting for air. “You know-” It was breathless; Liam hadn’t quite regained a steady composure yet. “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were a sore loser.”  
“It’s a little hard to be a sore loser when I haven’t lost.”  
“Keep telling yourself that.”  
Oh, that does it. The challenging smirk. The mischievous glint in his eye. Liam was going down. He threw himself forward, knocking Liam off balance, and sent them crashing to the ground. It quickly spiralled into a flurry of flailing limbs. One minute he had the advantage, and the next, Liam had flipped him. Every time either of them gained ground, the other soon took it back.  
Until he managed to grip Liam’s wrists.  
That was all it took. He used their momentum to roll once more; this time pinning Liam. “What was that you were saying?”

They didn’t move, neither one wanting to speak. It was all he could do to keep himself upright, to remain focused. Somewhat focused.  
“You just can’t keep your hands of each other, can you?” That voice, unexpected and _female_ , made him jump. Liam wasn’t far behind him. They came face to face with their decidedly entertained parents. “You two are hornier than a jackrabbit.”  
“Mum!” Heat bloomed deep within his cheeks, threatening to permanently discolour his skin. This was not the time. Not when Liam was right there.  
“The house isn’t soundproof, Theo. I’m sure Jenna will agree that you could at least wait for us to leave.”   
“ _Mum!_ We weren’t- Just stop!” The responding grin did little to ease the situation.  
“We’ll see you both downstairs. Don’t keep us waiting.”

Wide eyed and speechless, it took a while before he could even face Liam. Liam, who was staring at the door incredulously. “So. That just happened.”  
Kill me now. “I am _so_ sorry.”  
“Hey, it’s not like you could have known.”  
“You’d think they don’t understand what it’s like. I mean, it’s as though mum thinks, ‘how can I embarrass Theo, today?’”  
Sure enough, a distant “don’t make us come up there,” was heard. He didn’t want to know what would happen if his mum did. A shudder tore through his body at the mere thought. Liam leant into him on their way down. Which, with his mum in the room, only elicited a look which screamed ‘this just proves my point’.

After a quick goodbye, he and his mum drove home, but not before Liam proposed a bet. On whether Coach would, in fact, throw a parade for him. This would be the easiest win of all time.

****

He owes Liam $20.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to miss these boys. 🥺
> 
> Thank you for reading and for your comments. I enjoyed writing this and I hope y’all did too. 😁

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s another story I’ve been working on for a while. It’s been starting to come together recently and I thought I’d share it.
> 
> Hope y’all like it.  
> 😁


End file.
